


Curiosity Caused the Cat [In which Izaya is the cat, Shinra is Curious and Everyone else is Ignorant]

by MissBeedie



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Cat Izaya, Fake Science, Humor, Light-Hearted, Mild Language, human to cat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5816890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBeedie/pseuds/MissBeedie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinra decides to test out the contents of a mysterious vial his father left behind on his last visit and Izaya just happens to be the most convenient test subject. Izaya is not part of this decision. Everyone else is generally unaware of this, the result is Izaya wandering around in cat form and being annoyed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: Shingen Visits, a Mysterious Vial Appears, and Shinra Gets Curious.

**Author's Note:**

> *This is unfinished even just as an idea. Normally I wouldn't even post something until I had it finished because of how often I rewrite things but I have been writing this for ages without any progress. I'm hoping that having some of it posted will act as motivation to work on it more often.  
> Any suggestions for a direction the plot could go in are welcome, I won't change things I have already written but I will respond to comments:)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shingen has left something behind, and Shinra is too curious.

* * *

 

Shinra always hated his father’s visits and welcomed their conclusion with great enthusiasm. Shingen Kishitani was not an easy man to live with and when he did visit tensions tended to run high, especially when taking into consideration his condescending attitude towards Celty. It could generally be said that Shinra’s life was much easier in his father’s absence. Which made it all the more frustrating when, for the first time probably ever, Shingen left before Shinra was ready for him to go.

 *****

It wasn’t that his father’s company had become any more bearable or that Shinra would miss him. No quite the opposite, he had been even more insufferable during this visit than ever before. The problem was that he had left behind a strange vial, possibly by mistake, which was unmarked, unexplained, and the curiosity was killing Shinra. The liquid contained within the mysterious vial had no distinguishing features, no smell, barely any color and he couldn’t even decide what the little color that was visible in the vial could be called. He had no idea what it was or what it was for and his ignorance was unbearable. To make it worse Celty had no interest in the thing whatsoever. Shinra had tried asking her what she thought the liquid in the vial was and if maybe her senses could discern anything his couldn’t but Celty was still upset about a few highly insensitive remarks from said vial’s owner and “couldn’t care less what it was as long as it didn’t spill in the house” and would leave the room in a huff every time Shinra brought it up.

 *****

The only thing Shinra knew about this elusive mixture was that it needed to be injected, which he could tell from the design of the vial, and which of course led him to the conclusion that if he really wanted to know what it did he would have to inject it into someone and wait to see what happened. The only problem with this plan was that most people would not allow an unlicensed “doctor” to inject them with some mystery liquid his mad scientist of a father may or may not have “accidentally” left behind. So it really was quite the stroke of luck that Izaya got stabbed just two days later…                       

* * *

 


	2. Chapter Two: Izaya is Injured but it’s Really not That Bad Right? Shinra Sees an Opportunity, Celty Mildly Disapproves.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya undergoes a transformation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is unfinished even just as an idea. Normally I wouldn't even post something until I had it finished because of how often I rewrite things but I have been writing this for ages without any progress. I'm hoping that having some of it posted will act as motivation to work on it more often.  
> Any suggestions for a direction the plot could go in are welcome, I won't change things I have already written but I will respond to comments:)

* * *

 

Izaya generally didn’t have many problems with his clients, or at least no problems he couldn’t handle, and any problems he did have almost never turned violent. This was due mostly to his very thorough background checks and painstaking research done before every meeting. Of course there were times, just like this one, when such encounters were unavoidable. He wasn’t too badly injured in his opinion but he was already in Ikebukuro so paying a visit to Shinra wouldn’t be unwise, especially considering that his client's weapon of choice had been a rusty nail. Cradling his arm and trying to avoid any further damage to his precious, trademark, fur-coat Izaya made his way to Shinra’s, just to be sure…

 

*****

 

When he got there Shinra was suspiciously happy to see him but Izaya decided to reserve judgement on this, he was quite excitable after all.

 

“Oooooh Izaya-kun come right in! What did Shizuo-kun hit you with this time?” Shinra bounced up to his “old friend” and began assessing the damage.

 

“ _He_ didn’t hit me with anything; I simply had a minor disagreement with a client.” Izaya responded coolly, annoyed by the mention of his least favorite monster.

 

“Do all minor disagreements end with a rusty nail being embedded in the participant’s upper arm or is that unique to yours?” Shinra teased, unperturbed by Izaya’s tone.

 

“Just get the damn thing out; I have another meeting tonight with a new client.”

 

Izaya was annoyed. What had started as a minor injury was quickly becoming a very painful, and bloody, mess with which Shinra wasn’t helping.

 

 

 

Shinra meanwhile was mentally thanking the universe for bringing Izaya here when it did. He now had someone on whom he could test out that vial! He wouldn’t want to try it on a client after all—he had a reputation to maintain that his job and, by extension, his life with Celty relied on. Izaya would be perfect because even though he still paid for Shinra’s services he wasn’t really a client and even though he was a “friend” of sorts they weren’t really close enough for Shinra to feel anything more than a slight twinge of guilt at what he was about to do.

 

Shinra motioned Izaya over to the couch where he could sit down while Shinra cleaned and wrapped the wound.

 

‘Besides’, he continued in his internal dialogue, 'whatever this mystery liquid did to Izaya could be passed off as an unfortunate accident and even forgiven as long as Shinra was able to reverse any damaging effects….right? Well too late for second thoughts now, and though she may disapprove, his beloved Celty would always protect him from a physical assault … though Izaya could easily make him pay in other ways…' By the time his thoughts had reached this point he had already injected the contents of the vial into Izaya’s arm so there was no point in worrying about the consequences now.

 

*****

 

Shinra always babbled when he treated Izaya. This time was a bit different though. His babbling seemed, if possible, even more pointless than usual. It was as if Shinra was just talking to fill space, or maybe to distract from something? His words were rushed and stumbling. To Izaya, who was very good at reading people, he seemed almost … guilty? Which was odd for Shinra. He insisted on giving Izaya two shots, “just in case” because he had been stabbed with a rusty nail and might get a nasty infection if he just left it. Izaya hated shots but he supposed he would probably hate amputation more so he allowed them.

 

*****

 

About three minutes after he had been given the second shot Izaya collapsed and began convulsing on the floor. For a moment Shinra worried that he may have just given his only “friend” some kind of deadly poison but that worry quickly subsided, replaced by equal parts excitement, anticipation, and fascination.

 

After the convulsions stopped the first thing that happened to Izaya was he started to glow. Shinra knew that Nebula was working on several projects to do with the supernatural and, being practically an expert himself, he recognized this glow as something supernatural.

 

The second thing that happened to Izaya was his nails grew in length, the ends narrowing down to sharp points. When the glow faded away Shinra saw that Izaya’s ears and eyes had also undergone a change. His ears had become slightly more pointed and if he was not mistaken were a bit higher on his head than they used to be. His eyes had subtly changed shape and size, the pupils had become narrow slits and their usual rusty color had changed to a bright red. Shinra could tell that these changes were just the beginning of whatever transformation Izaya was going through. Lost in his excitement and thoughts of what form Izaya’s final transformation would take Shinra failed to take into account the significance of the fact that he knew what Izaya’s now open eyes looked like.

 

*****

 

As soon as he woke up Izaya knew something was wrong. For one thing, he was lying on the floor whereas before he was quite certain he had been sitting on the couch. For another, rather than helping his patient who had “unexpectedly” collapsed Shinra was staring down at Izaya as though he were some kind of fascinating experiment. Finally, Shinra had failed for some reason to notice that said “experiment” had regained consciousness and was staring up at him angrily.

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3: Shizuo is Having a Bad Day, Tom is Also Having a Bad Day But is Handling it Better Than Shizuo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shizuo is also having a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place at the same time in the story as the previous and next one, "day one" I guess. 
> 
> This story is unfinished and suggestions are welcome, I will always respond to comments.

* * *

 

Everything smelled like shit. Which meant Izaya was probably somewhere in town today. No matter how many times Shizuo told him to “stay the hell out of Ikebukuro” and drove him away with various heavy objects that damn flea always returned to stink the place up with his stupid, scheming, flea stench. Normally Shizuo would run off to track down Izaya and their usual chase through the city would commence—inevitably ending with Izaya escaping and Shizuo returning, shamefaced, to his employer who would have been left behind—often before they had even finished their job.

Today however Shizuo was dealing with a client (read asshole) who was  _almost_  as annoying as Izaya himself; even Tom was annoyed. With this in mind Shizuo decided to forgo dealing with Izaya’s parasitical presence in favor of beating the crap out of this asshole who had ruined both his and Tom’s day.

 

*****

 

Tom had been made to spend the past few days just tracking the guy down, every time he got a lead he and Shizuo would rush there only to find the place recently abandoned, and by the time they had actually found the bastard neither of them had any patience left for his pathetic excuses for why he couldn’t pay his debts.

 

To make it all just  _that_  much worse they guy really hadn’t been able to pay. He had less than 300 yen on his person and no permanent home or bank accounts where more money might have been stored, which meant they had to return from their ordeal empty handed and exhausted. Fortunately, as Tom pointed out on their way to a very late lunch, this was their last full day of work for the next two weeks.

 

*****

 

Shizuo was still grumbling angrily 20 minutes after they left.

“We can even go try out the cake at that new coffee shop tomorrow since we’ll be getting off early,” Tom suggested in an attempt to cheer up his companion. “We just have two more guys to deal with today which should be easy enough, or at least I don’t think they’ll be as much of a pain as this guy was.”

Shizuo merely grunted his reply, not participating in Tom’s forced enthusiasm as they continued on their way to meet the next guy.

 

*****

 

On their way back Tom noticed something.

“Um… Hey, Shizuo? Does that dog know you?”

Shizuo turned to look at the dog in question which had been following him for several blocks.

“Oh, yeah. I see it sometimes.”

Shizuo knelt down and pulled a treat from his pocket as the dog approached. Before it reached his hand Shizuo placed the treat on the ground between himself and the dog. It took the treat then wagged its tail expectantly.

“I think it wants you to pet it.” Tom suggested.

Shizuo frowned at his feet, he looked embarrassed. “I don’t wanna accidentally hurt it,” he finally muttered.

“I’m sure you won’t-” Tom started.

 “Not on purpose but I might accidentally…”

He stood up and walked away without finishing that thought. Tom just shook his head and turned to follow.

 

*****

 

As it turned out, their remaining clients  _had_  been a bit of pain to deal with but, somehow, after dealing with the first one they seemed easy in comparison.

When they finally finished for the day it was raining—just a sprinkle at first—which soon escalated into a full-on downpour. Shizuo dropped Tom off at his house before running to his own apartment as fast as his legs, and the city traffic, would allow. By the time he arrived he was soaked, pissed off, exhausted, and looking forward to a warm shower, followed by a nice mug of hot chocolate, maybe even with marshmallows. It had been a long day…

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this one is kinda short I'll be posting the next chapter today as well.


	4. Chapter 4: Izaya is Confined, Celty is Almost Sympathetic to His Plight, Izaya Escapes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya completes his transformation and is less than pleased with the results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the last chapter, this is still day one (morning) and happens at the same time as the previous chapter.

* * *

 

It had been about an hour, maybe two, since Izaya first lost consciousness. He was lying on a bed in the “guest room” that Shinra sometimes used for patients. He had been having regular convulsions which were always followed by a blinding headache and a sudden loss of consciousness. He wasn’t exactly sure what was happening to him but he was 99.9 percent certain that Shinra was in some was responsible for it and so was determined to make him pay … just as soon as he could stand without the whole room spinning out of control.

 

*****

 

Shinra was beyond excited—each time Izaya fainted new changes occurred. First it was the nails, ears, and eyes, and then it was whiskers, then a tail, then his hands changed, and finally, bit by bit, he began to resemble … a cat. He had even started to acquire some feline behaviors. Izaya himself didn’t seem to notice that he was changing and Shinra thought it was probably in his best interest not to point it out to him. Instead he decided to document the process precisely and scientifically while making sure that Izaya remained as calm and subdued as possible to prevent any physical or psychological trauma … to either of them.

By noon the transformation was complete. The final changes had occurred while Shinra was out of the room so at first when he returned to find Izaya missing, replaced by a small black and white cat, his mind didn’t register what must have happened. The second his brain caught up with his eyes he called Celty into the room to see this remarkable outcome, only to be disappointed once again by her complete disinterest in anything to do with Shingen’s “accidentally” misplaced vial.

 

*****

 

Izaya was woken by the sounds of a distressed Shinra whining loudly at an irritated Celty. He hissed at the sound as he sat up, opening his eyes, only to have them assaulted by an unnaturally bright light. In fact all of his senses seemed to be fighting an all-out war with his surroundings. Sounds that had been loud before were downright unbearable; lights were blinding and the smells he was surrounded by were suddenly much stronger and more confusing.

Izaya noticed that something about his body felt different—wrong even. For one thing, he was too small. For another, he was, for some reason, no longer bipedal. As his awareness returned to him with it came the realization that Izaya was exactly the same shape and size of an average house cat, maybe even a bit smaller. Funnily enough rather than panic, the first emotion Izaya felt was irritation.

 _'Really! Could Shinra possibly be any louder?'_ Not to mention his pathetic high pitched whining became much worse when Izaya could hear every one of its many high pitches.

 _“Shut up Shinra you annoying idiot!”_ He yelled, or rather, tried to yell. What actually came out was closer to an angry “Meaaawwwl” sound—either way it got his point across and made Shinra stop his fake sobbing to come and check on Izaya.

 

*****

 

Shinra was trying very hard not to laugh at the cold fury radiating off of Izaya. He was hardly intimidating, at unimpressive 12ish inches tall, and not to mention the fact that he was practically made of fluff. Izaya had become a very small black cat with patches of white at his feet, neck, and belly in exactly the same places where the fur on his jacket had been.

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaow!” Izaya screeched at Shinra.

“I know what this looks like but just hear me out okay? You see- OW!”

Shinra received a rather nasty scratch as he tried to pat Izaya reassuringly on the head and decided to continue from a distance.

“Now don’t get angry, but I think I maybe—just maybe mind you—might have on accident given you the wrong shot when I maybe mixed up my antibiotics with an experimental drug that my father has been developing … please don’t look at me like that.”

Bright red eyes were staring up at him with murderous intent that was suddenly less amusing than it had been just a moment before.

“Hey don’t worry- I can fix this, I just need a bit of time to find and test an antidote—who knows, maybe this will even wear off on its own before then!” Shinra was back to his usual cheery way of talking, all traces of guilt and fear apparently forgotten. “You’ll just have to stay here until then I’m afraid~ but don’t worry I’ll definitely figure  _something_  out!” he called over his shoulder as he left the room to placate Celty who had stormed off in a huff at the first mention of Shinra’s highly unethical experiment with the mystery vial.

Izaya moved from the small guest room to the living room/ kitchen area from which he could hear Shinra pleading outside of Celty’s door.  _How pathetic._

Izaya decided to practice moving as a cat. Fortunately he had always been quite graceful and he was finding it easy enough to adapt to the movements of a cat. He leapt from the floor, to the coffee table, to the couch in one long, fluid movement.

He eventually bored of that game and turned his attention instead to the now slightly less pathetic whining coming from Shinra, who was talking to Celty—probably through a closed door—about what had happened to Izaya. Even though Shinra was down the hall and speaking quietly, Izaya was able to hear every word.

“It’s an exciting opportunity really; I would of course like to see how it affects others, preferably in a diverse range of subjects-”

 _Of course.'_ Izaya thought wryly.

“-I would hate to miss this opportunity though, seeing as how I don’t have any more of that drug I’ll have to make the most of what I have at my disposal now and maybe later work on exploring it further…”

 _'That bastard! I knew he did this on purpose!'_ Izaya meowed angrily. ' _If I stay here he’ll probably spend more time doing weird experiments on me than trying to find a cure.'_  It was decided then—he needed to escape, and soon. He would just have to hope that the effects of this mystery drug Shinra was testing on him would wear off on their own given time.

Down the hall Izaya heard the sound of Shinra’s phone going off followed by a crash and a whine of “But Celty there’s no point in being angry at  _me_ for that!” before Shinra returned to the living room holding his case of medical equipment—clearly on his way to a job.

“I’ll be back soon, and don’t worry, I’ll definitely find some way to undo this, it just might take some time!” Shinra called to Izaya before bouncing out the front door. A few moments later Celty came huffing into the living room and angrily turned on the T.V.—world news.

Izaya couldn’t see the glare she was giving him but he could certainly feel it. Whatever Shinra had said had her fuming, and frustrated little puffs of smoke kept shooting intermittently out of her neck. A hand, holding her PDA, shot out of the ever growing cloud of smoke puffs that had enveloped Celty.

[You may be a terrible person, and don’t think this means I like you but-]

[I also don’t think I should let Shinra experiment on you without your permission]

She walked over to the balcony door and opened it slightly.

[If you want to escape I can pretend like it was an accident]

[But that’s the most I’ll do for you, frankly I think you deserve this to some degree]

She then moved back to the couch where she continued to amass her angry cloud of smoke, ignoring Izaya.

It wasn’t much but it was more than Izaya would have expected from Celty. Shinra must have really pissed her off if she was willing to help Izaya even this much. With that thought Izaya leapt from the floor to the balcony and then over its edge, down a fire escape and into the bustling street below.

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5: Izaya’s Very Bad Day, Part One: The Okay Part.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best of, what's left of, Izaya's soon to be very bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still the same day. (day one)

* * *

 

Now that he was a cat, Izaya was discovering that he had fewer options than he was normally accustomed to. For one, he was just  _so_  much smaller. Distances that would have been relatively easy to walk seemed nearly impossible now that his steps were smaller. Another problem was his inability to communicate with others. He couldn’t, for instance, hail a cab or pay the driver for that matter. The most he could do was meow pitifully at strangers and hope for their kindness—a strategy he would rather not resort to.

He decided his first order of business should be to return to Shinjuku and somehow get Namie to let him into his apartment. Two impossible things but he didn’t have a “plan B”—there was no one who he would trust to take care of him, even if they could have recognized him in his new form. Once he was safely hidden inside his apartment he could decide what to do about changing back into a human.

Izaya knew that he wouldn’t be able to walk all the way to Shinjuku before Namie left the office—it was past mid-day after all—but he also knew that he was  _very_ cute. He knew this because several middle-school-age looking girls had informed him of this fact in their loudest and most obnoxious squeals. He decided to monopolize on this weakness of theirs and use it to hitch a ride home.

On his way to the train Izaya enjoyed the anonymity that came with being a cat. He was able to listen to the conversations his humans were having without reproach, most didn’t even notice him and those who did didn’t seem to care. Who cares if a stray cat hears what you’re saying — it’s not like they can understand anyway right? He also enjoyed the rare lack of vending machines, trash cans, etc. raining down from the sky on him. That was definitely a relief, though his joy at this was somewhat dampened by the fact that all of the ordinary objects that people often carelessly tossed aside were now the proportionate size of vending machines to him. Even so it was easier to walk through Ikebukuro and really take time to enjoy the city when a certain monster wasn’t chasing him away.

 

*****

 

Izaya had been sitting in the train station for mere minutes when the first shrieking group of school girls approached and he played his part perfectly. He rubbed against their legs as he had seen many cats do before, and purred obediently when they bent down to pet him. He allowed the cleanest smelling girl of the group to pick him up and thus gained a free—ish, he still had to pay in cuddles and humiliation—ride home. As soon as the train stopped at his station he leapt out of the girl’s arms and ran away from the obnoxious, pouting group at top speed in the direction of his apartment.

 

*****

 

Namie often left a window open when she worked, she apparently needed to “air out the place” after he had been there. It had seemed a bit rude at the time but now Izaya was grateful for her distaste because it meant he could sneak in without necessarily alerting her to his presence. Izaya leapt from fire escapes to narrow window ledges until he finally made it to his own apartment. Namie, as per usual, had left a window open and Izaya was able to sneak in through it, only to be caught mere moments later. It turned out Namie was very allergic to cats and knew he was there almost immediately. ' _Who would have thought it_? _My Luck really sucks today' …_ Izaya ran full pelt for the now open front door of his apartment, chased by his angry, sneezing, secretary who was holding a broom he hadn’t even known he had in his apartment until this moment.

 

*****

_Even if she had known it was me she still wouldn’t have helped. No, knowing her she probably would have killed and dissected me “for science.”_ Izaya thought, grumpily plodding down the streets of Ikebukuro once more. He had been forced to walk most of the way back after he was caught by the train officials being smuggled on. He had had to get off two stops before he usually would have and was beginning to tire from the day’s exertion. He just needed to find a relatively safe place where he could rest, and if that place had something for him to eat that would be great too. For now, he decided to content himself with walking among his still lovely—though alarmingly large—humans, observing them as they went about their lives.

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6: Izaya’s Very Bad Day, Part Two: The Very Bad Part.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and it just gets worse.

* * *

 

It was early evening when it first started to rain. Shinra had just arrived back to his apartment only to discover his “best-friend”-turned-cat was missing. Upon making this discovery, Shinra decided his best, and most helpful, course of action would be to panic as loudly and as energetically as possible—which he did. He only stopped shrieking at the top of his lungs and running from room to room when Celty—who was still annoyed with him though, less so now—punched him just hard enough to force all of the air out of his lungs, thus halting the ungodly hell he had been raising, in its tracks.

“Gugh, Celty! Izaya is missing! Have you seen him?!”

[He probably heard you talking about “experimenting on him” and ran away]

Before Shinra could respond she had a new message typed up.

[Either way it’s not my problem]

“But- C-Celty! Why would that upset…?” Shinra spluttered then trailed off.

[If you’re so concerned for his well-being you shouldn’t have drugged him]

Shinra spent the next ten minutes pouting at, reasoning with, and eventually begging for, Celty to help him look for Izaya. When she did reluctantly agree to help him it was mostly just to make him stop; besides Izaya may have been a terrible person but he  _was_  for some reason the only  _human_  friend that Shinra had ever made…

[I’ll help you today but you do realize that it’s kind of pointless to search for one small cat in all of Ikebukuro right?]

“Yeah, but Izaya isn’t an ordinary cat, he has human intelligence. We should try all of the places nearby that he likes to go, even if it is pointless.” Shinra babbled, happy now that Celty had agreed to help him search.

Celty knew all about hopeless searches through the city for things that might not even be there only too well but this was even more impossible than finding her head and, in her opinion, far less worth the effort it would take.

 

*****

 

As time passed and the day grew later the streets of Ikebukuro became busier and therefore more perilous for Izaya. Schools and offices closed for the day and students and business men and women filled the streets, all too intent on their destinations to watch where they were stepping. Izaya was nearly trampled in the first rush. He had only managed to escape being crushed by the endless herd of people by dodging into the first open alley he could find.

He continued with this strategy of travelling from alley to alley and it was working well for him until suddenly he found himself in the middle of a fight between what he assumed to be some of the less highly evolved members of the Yellow Scarves and the Dollars. He had entered the alley at the precise moment that one of the largest guys in the group was sent flying by  _the_  largest guy and just happened to land  _on_  Izaya. The now much flatter, though thankfully not broken, cat hissed angrily at the gangs, who ignored him and continued their fight, before hobbling out of the alley and into the road just in time for a car to swerve around him, narrowly missing a man on his phone who aimed a kick at Izaya in revenge. To make everything just  _that much better_  it started to rain.

The rain, which was really no more than a light sprinkle, felt horrible. It was cold, wet, and made Izaya’s formerly quite fluffy fur stick out in all directions in messy clumps—though it did have the advantage of clearing the streets a bit.

 

*****

 

They had been driving around Ikebukuro for hours. It was raining hard by now with metaphorical buckets of water pouring down on them, and Celty decided that the weather was too bad for them to be searching in. Shinra tried to argue that the terrible weather was a very good reason to keep looking seeing as how Izaya would be stuck outside in it but his arguments were ineffective. Celty refused to keep Shooter out in the cold for someone like Izaya who she believed “could do with a night or two out in the cold” and with that she turned around and drove them back home.

 

*****

 

Izaya was miserable. He had managed to find an awning to sit under for a while but when the shop that the awning belonged to closed they retracted it, leaving him once again without any shelter. By this time most places were closing which left Izaya with no clear idea of where he could go. He was finding it hard to think clearly as he walked down a randomly selected street. He was just too damn cold and wet.

The rain was coming down in heavy grey sheets that obscured his vision and made Izaya almost consider sleeping in a trashcan if it meant shelter—almost, but not quite.

Suddenly the world was spinning and the ground was much closer than Izaya remembered it being a moment ago. For the second time that day he had accidentally stepped out into traffic, only this time the car had actually hit him. The driver didn’t even seem to notice that he had sent a small, dazed, cat flying down the street at speeds that cats were never meant to travel.

Izaya couldn’t move. He could barely breathe and with every rise of his chest there came a crushing, stinging, pain. He was wondering vaguely if he had any broken ribs when a large, dark figure loomed over him. Izaya flinched a bit but was unable to move, let alone run away.

“It is cat; seem broken, maybe sushi help dead cat?” He heard an accented voice that could only belong to Simon. Who else would think that sushi could heal a  _dead_  cat?

A cheerful voice responded from a few feet away, “I think you mean  _injured_  cat, Simon. Well, you should bring it in anyway—even if it isn’t dead yet it will be soon enough if we leave it out in the rain.”

Izaya recognized that voice. Masaomi Kida.  _Well, fuck. I hope they’re coming to help,_ thought Izaya as he heard footsteps approaching. _I don’t think I can defend myself if they aren’t … Though knowing Simon and his absurd notions about sushi they might just end up killing me on accident._

 

*****

 

Simon had brought in another animal. This happened about twice a month, more often when the weather was bad. He would bring these damn things into the restaurant, conveniently forgetting that Dennis had reminded him the last time that it was against the health code to bring animals in. Inevitably Simon would talk Dennis into allowing it “just one more time, promise,” then Simon would give whatever sad creature he had brought in some left over sushi scraps and try to sneak it home for the night. This night was no different, except that this time there were other people there to side with Simon.

Masaomi Kida and his two friends, Mikado Ryugamine and Anri Sonohara, had been wandering around town and had stopped in for dinner at Russia Sushi when the rain started. When Simon went out to take in the signs he came back with a half-drowned cat instead and the three had immediately sympathized with the thing and insisted, along with Simon, that Dennis allow them to help it.

“It seems cold”

“And I think its bleeding!”

“Look how cute it is, we can’t just leave it out in the cold to die! That would be too heartless!”

Well now it was four against one and since they were the only ones there he supposed it couldn’t hurt to make sure it didn’t die, after all he didn’t want his customers thinking he was some sort of monster…

 

*****

 

When Izaya woke up he was filthy, but dry—which was a relief.

“I don’t think he’s too badly injured, which is pretty remarkable considering that he was hit by a car,” said Anri, the one currently holding him.

Well he had been hit by worse but she wouldn’t know that.

“It wasn’t going very fast, ‘cause of the rain,” suggested Mikado.

“Yeah, you’re probably right…” Izaya cringed at the idea that he had to rely on these high-schoolers. “There’s a bit of blood on his side but it’s dry so I think that the wound has already started to heal. I’ll just clean it off a bit,” said Anri, who was really the only one actually doing anything useful at this point.

Izaya felt a warm, wet cloth press against his side. He wanted to protest but all he could manage was a weak whimper-y mewl.

“Oh! I think he’s awake! Hey Simon! Could you get those fish scraps? He’s probably really hungry,” shouted Masaomi.

With the promise of food all thoughts of escape vanished from Izaya’s mind. Even scraps sounded good to him after all he’d been through.

It turned out that as a cat he found the smell of fish delightful, intoxicating even. Once he was a little cleaner and more awake, Izaya hauled himself up and made his way over to the plate of leftover fish. It was hard staying upright while he ate and eating without hands took a little getting used to but Izaya decided that any clumsiness could be excused as being caused by his injuries rather than him lacking grace. Anyone would be a little wobbly after being hit by a car after all.

Once he had finished Izaya noticed that he felt a rather strong urge to lick his paws, which he resisted in memory of where they had been that day. Fortunately for him Anri— _detestable creature though she was—_ still had the warm towel and was willing to help Izaya clean his fur in exchange for some light purring and cuddles. It seemed that in order to survive Izaya would have to give up more than just a little of his pride.

 

*****

 

About an hour later Russia Sushi closed and Izaya was faced with the predicament of where to go next. It was still raining outside and he wasn’t sure how well he would be able to walk, if at all.

Simon, to his credit, had tried to sneak Izaya home but had apparently made a habit of picking up strays because Dennis caught him immediately and insisted that Simon could not bring Izaya home and reminded him that his apartment did not allow animals.

“It will be fine, it has survived this long on the streets right? I’m sure it will be fine.” Dennis argued.

With that in mind Simon regretfully let Izaya down—leaving him on the little sheltered patio of his apartment complex—which was at least out of the rain though not out of the cold.

It was going to be a long and miserable night…

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7: The Tiny, Wet, and Angry God.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Izaya is tiny, wet, and miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, I will try to be more consistant with uploads.

* * *

 

The night had indeed been miserable. Izaya had spent as much time as he could under the patio before he was forced to move on to find new shelter. Suffice to say he didn’t get much sleep. Finally, at around 6:00, the sun started to rise and a nearby coffee shop began its opening preparations, which included setting up umbrella covered tables on its patio. Izaya approached, tentatively gauging whether he would be allowed to stay or not by the employee’s response. She barely spared him a glance when he crawled under one of the tables so Izaya assumed he would be okay here at least until opening. No one would want to sit outside today anyway.

 

*****

 

Tiny drops of rain ran down Shizuo’s hair and into his sunglasses. It wasn’t raining hard but it was raining constantly, which was just as bad in his opinion. Eventually he gave up on trying to wipe his sunglasses off and instead tucked them into his pocket. He and Tom had been standing in the street in front of an apartment complex near the center of town for close to an hour. They were waiting for the resident of apartment no. 243 to leave for work so that they could collect his debt. Because he was a first-time borrower Tom had decided to give him the benefit of the doubt when he said he needed more time.

So now, three days later, they were waiting politely  _outside_  the apartments, in the  _rain_ , for a whole  _hour_.

 

*****

_The poor guy should have known,_ thought Tom.  _I probably should have warned him too, but really he should have known…._

The man in question had left his apartment two hours later, at almost 8:00. When Tom approached him it was obvious that he had been running for work. He was a bit disheveled and still tying his tie when Tom stopped him—and when Tom asked, very politely, if he would pay his debt now, reminding him that they had been very kind to extend the deadline—the man tried to run past Tom with claims that he “didn’t have time” and “would miss his train.”

“And whose fault do you think that is…EH?” Shizuo had growled after him.

“Wha-“ the man started to turn, but too late, Shizuo was already there, grabbing him by his collar and lifting him bodily into the air to be shaken and shouted at.

Tom waited a few steps back with a sympathetic look that said something along the lines of ‘sorry, I can’t really stop him when he gets like this’ while Shizuo terrorized their confused first-time—and probably last-time—client.

“IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO BE LATE FOR YOUR TRAIN THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT EARLIER! IT’S NOT OUR FAULT YOU WERE LATE WITH YOUR DEBTS AND IT’S NOT OUR FAULT THAT YOU’RE LATE FOR WORK, IF YOU’RE THAT WORRIED ABOUT IT THEN PAY UP QUICK AND STOP WASTING EVERYONE’S TIME!”

Tom wasn’t entirely sure that the man could even understand Shizuo through all of the shaking.

As it turned out the man didn’t have the money to pay back his debts, having been late to work so many times that he had been demoted. Shizuo had thrown the man so hard that he landed several blocks away, coincidentally just in front of the station platform that his train would be departing from in two minutes, resulting in him being on time for the first time in weeks and saving his job.

 

*****

 

Their second job went quite smoothly, an elderly woman who had borrowed from them before and always paid her debts on time.

It would have been a fairly quick job except that she, like many old ladies, loved to chat and would take every opportunity to tell stories about her grandson or reminisce about the old days. They didn’t escape until more than half an hour _after_  she had paid them back and then only because her phone rang. Shizuo was a bit annoyed but she  _was_  reliable and probably lonely so he had stood and waited for Tom in the doorway, quietly getting soaked.

 

*****

 

They still had one more person to see before they finished for the day but Tom insisted they take their break before that.

“This last one lives a bit farther away than I want to walk in this weather, and who knows, maybe by the time we finish the rain will have stopped!” Tom predicted optimistically as they made their way towards the coffee shop he had suggested the day before.

 

*****

 

They were both relieved when they made it to the shelter of the coffee shop. Shizuo, who had already been standing in the rain, was dripping and Tom was almost as wet. The rain had picked up since that morning and neither of them wanted to spend more time in it than they had to. Shizuo went straight to the bathroom to dry off, not wanting to make a mess, while Tom waited in line to order.

When Shizuo came back out Tom sent him to find them a table before they were all taken. He chose the last one by the window. That was when he noticed a small black cat huddled under a patio table on the other side of said window. The second Tom returned with their orders Shizuo was up and running out to the patio.

“Wait, Shizuo you just got dry where are you going?” Tom called after him, but Shizuo was already out the door and crossing the patio to the cat.

 

*****

 

Izaya had been crouching under the table for hours when he was approached by the last person in the world who he wanted to find him helpless and freezing to death. Fortunately, because he was a cat, the monster didn’t recognize him and so didn’t attack.

He didn’t go away either though. Instead he approached Izaya carefully, kneeling down so that he could see him better. His employer was right behind him, holding a steaming cup of coffee that smelled heavenly and made Izaya sick with jealousy.

“Hey Tom, sorry for just running out like that—I, um… saw a cat and...”

“That’s okay. You know, I’m sure if you asked they’d let you buy some warm milk or something inside.”

Shizuo beamed at his employer, “Okay! I’ll go ask. Good Idea!” and ran in to do just that.

Izaya hadn’t really been paying attention to their conversation, preferring to stare transfixed at the steam curling out of Tom’s cup; he was very cold…

Shizuo returned a moment later with a shallow cup filled with warm milk and placed it in front of Izaya who eyed it suspiciously.

“Here, this is for you.” He slid the cup forward and then backed off a bit to give Izaya space in case he was afraid of people.

Izaya spent the next minute or so engaged in an intense battle for dignity between his stomach and his pride.

_He was a god, he was above this-_

_He was hungry-_

_He was A GOD-_

_He was a hungry god..._

_Gods accept offerings right?_

_He was also quite cold..._

_Fuck it, this didn't change anything though._

His stomach won.

Slowly Izaya inched forward and gave the milk a sniff. It smelled okay and it was still warm. Ignoring the blond monster in front of him and said monster’s employer, Izaya began to lap up the offering.

“It looks like it likes the milk.” Tom observed.

“Yeah, I guess… should I get some more?” Shizuo asked, watching the cat lap up the milk with enthusiasm.

Izaya perked up at the suggestion.

“I’ll go, you can stay here.” Tom offered. Shizuo was clearly enjoying watching the cat and they had time.

While Tom was gone Shizuo made no move to try to pet Izaya or touch him at all but Izaya remained guarded anyway. Once he had finished drinking Izaya moved back under the table as far away from where Shizuo was kneeling as he could get and held perfectly still, tensed and ready to scratch if necessary. Shizuo didn’t seem offended or deterred by this behavior. He was apparently perfectly content to sit and watch Izaya from a distance until Tom returned with more milk. Then, when he did return, Shizuo simply placed the cup close—but not too close—and waited.

“Do you think it’ll be okay?” he asked with real concern.

“I don’t know… I guess, but I don’t know where it comes from, it doesn’t have any tags so I couldn’t say.” Tom knelt down next to Shizuo and extended a hand towards Izaya, who hissed and swiped a paw in warning at him. “I guess it’ll be okay for now; at any rate I don’t think it wants to be touched so there’s not much we can do.”

“I guess,” said Shizuo uncertainly. The both stood up and made their way back to their table inside.

“If you’re really worried about it I guess we could come back here after our last job. If it’s still here we can at least get it some more milk.”

“Okay.” Shizuo agreed, sounding less concerned now that they would be returning to check on the cat.

 

*****

 

It was a few hours after that—the rain had stopped and Izaya had ventured out from his hiding spot under the table and began to explore—when Shizuo returned.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 8: A Possible Truce, Mostly Because Izaya is Cold, Also He’s Hungry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya is "catnapped" and not terribly happy about it.

* * *

 

Izaya had stayed hidden in his spot under the table until hunger and stiffness had forced him to leave. At first he just walked up and down the patio, winding in between the tables and chairs in order to remain sheltered for as long as possible. By noon, however, Izaya was having trouble staying conscious and upright.

To his eternal shame, Izaya decided to resort to begging. He meowed hopefully at the least threatening-looking passers-by. None of them stopped though some spared him a pitying glance. He knew he probably looked awful. He was wet, matted, half-dead, and not nearly as appealing as his formerly-fluffy-self had been.

He had made it about half a block away from the coffee shop when Shizuo returned with Tom to check up on him.

Izaya’s first instinct had been to hide before he remembered that Shizuo didn’t know who he was and was, in fact, being uncharacteristically kind to him. With this in mind he returned to his “try to look cute and maybe get fed because of it” strategy.

 

*****

 

“It’s gone.” Shizuo frowned, checking under the table the cat had hidden under earlier that morning.

“Maybe it moved on,” Tom suggested. “The rain has let up a bit.”

“Yeah maybe…” Shizuo didn’t sound convinced and he didn’t stop looking for the cat he had maybe befriended.

“Hey wait, is that it over there?” Tom asked, pointing to where Izaya sat a few feet away observing people as they passed him.

“Yeah it is! I’m going to go see if it’s okay.” Shizuo said over his shoulder, already moving towards the cat.

“Okay, I’ll stay over here. We don’t want to spook it.”

 

*****

 

Izaya had been listening intently to their conversation and he knew when Shizuo was approaching behind him but he pretended not to notice. He kept up his pretense of ignorance until Shizuo knelt in front of him and, for some unfathomable reason, started talking to him.

“Are you okay? You remember me right? We met this morning.” He said quietly.

 _‘Are you seriously expecting an answer from a cat’_ Izaya meowed back.

“I guess that means yes huh? Oh- hey are you hurt? Do you need help?” He asked.

It was really a shame that a deadpan expression didn’t come across on a cat’s face.

 _I think he seriously expects me to answer him. He’s not even worried about how crazy he looks kneeling in the middle of the sidewalk talking to a cat._ Izaya thought.

“Meow,” he said simply.

It must have conveyed some sort of message because Shizuo extended his hand and waited for permission to check for wounds. At first Izaya hissed, he really didn’t feel like being manhandled by a monster right now, but after a moment he relented.  _How much more damage could he really do?_

 

Shizuo touched the cat as gently as he could, moving clumps of wet fur aside to reveal a long, red gash across his side and earning a pained hiss from Izaya.

“Sorry,” He said. “I really am trying to be gentle.” He retracted his hand. “Does that still hurt? It looks like it does. I don’t really know what to do about it though … normally I just use superglue but I don’t think that works on cats…”

 _‘It doesn’t work on humans either you idiot.’_ Izaya meowed dryly.

“Hm. I can’t really afford a vet but I don’t wanna just leave you here either…”

Was he going to try to help-?

“I should ask Tom … wait here okay?” Shizuo said before standing and turning to walk away.

Izaya was pretty sure he was about to be kidnapped- no catnapped, _haha_ …. He was starting to feel really sleepy and his brain was going fuzzy again. In an effort to counteract the dizziness and fatigue he was feeling, Izaya stood up, and tried to walk forward. This effort failed miserably as he stumbled sideways, directly into the path of yet another busy man on his cellphone and—for the third, and he hoped last, time  Izaya found himself flying through the air—once again at speeds and heights which cats were never meant to travel.

_Huh? I guess I’m not the only one who can fly today…_  Izaya thought blearily as, a few moments later, he watched a man soar over him and vanish behind the crowd. He was vaguely aware of shouting in the distance. It sounded familiar, as did the sounds of destruction of public property coming from somewhere behind him, but for some reason that didn’t seem very important anymore—particularly not when the whole world had turned into a chaotically-spinning, noisy, burning, stinging, hell.

 

*****

 

Shizuo was furious. He had just found Tom and they were returning to where Shizuo had left the cat when he saw said cat suddenly fly through the air, kicked by a businessman talking on his cellphone. The man had shouted a few choice words at the cat before continuing on his way, only to be stopped by a very angry Shizuo.

Tom stood back and waited for the inevitable storm to blow over as Shizuo grabbed the man by his collar then slammed him hard enough into the nearest lamp post to leave a human shaped dent in it.

“WHAT KIND OF PERSON KICKS AN INNOCENT ANIMAL HA?”

He didn’t wait for a response before lifting the man into the air and throwing him with considerable force into the crowded street.

Tom winced at the sound he made landing but wasn’t able to work up much sympathy for the guy. Shizuo took a few deep breaths to calm down before crouching carefully next to the fallen cat and very gingerly picking it up, as if it were made of glass.

“Is it … um, you know, still alive?” Tom asked carefully.

“Yeah. It’s breathing but it doesn’t look too good,” Shizuo reported, examining the damage. “I think I should take it home, at least for now … though I’m not sure what to do after that.”

“You could call a vet, I guess, or that doctor friend…” Tom suggested uncertainly.

“Maybe. Don’t know how much he knows about cats but I could try. A vet would probably be too expensive, especially ‘cause it’s a stray … I’ll just get it home first.” Shizuo decided.

“Okay, do they allow pets in your apartment? Even if you don’t keep it you could still get in trouble for bringing one in.”

“No, it’s fine, besides if they haven’t kicked me out for any of the um … other things, then I guess a cat would be fine.” Shizuo mumbled.

Tom assumed that by “other things” Shizuo meant his tendency to accidentally destroy things with his abnormal strength but he tactfully chose not to say anything. Instead, he agreed and left for his own home with assurances that he would be fine going alone and Shizuo should just focus on helping the cat.

 

*****

 

Izaya woke up twice on the way to Shizuo’s apartment, both times scratching the latter in hopes of being released, but unfortunately Shizuo was too thick skinned to even notice and Izaya was too weak to do any more. When they finally arrived Shizuo seemed uncertain of what to do next—knowing him he probably hadn’t planned much beyond “bring the cat home.” Izaya shifted uncomfortably and meowed quietly to get Shizuo’s attention.

“Maaaawl.” Izaya stated irritably.

“Oh, right, that probably hurts huh? I’ll put you down now.”

Shizuo moved to the bathroom to grab a clean towel, which he wrapped Izaya in, before setting him on the couch. Izaya didn’t like being wrapped up but he couldn’t do much about it—Shizuo had left the room and Izaya was too weak to move, let alone escape the confines of his towel prison. There was also the matter of him beginning to lose consciousness again. That was, until Shizuo returned with something that smelled like fish and some more warm milk. Izaya woke up just enough to sniff hopefully in Shizuo’s direction.

“Sorry, I don’t really have anything else I can give you, maybe I can get some stuff later … but for now we need to figure out what to do about your injuries…” Shizuo placed the can on the coffee table while he unwrapped Izaya just enough for him to sit up and eat; which he did, eagerly.

“I guess I should call Shinra, he might not know much about cats since he’s not a vet or anything but he probably knows more than I do-”

Izaya hissed at the suggestion.

‘ _The last thing I need is that freak knowing where I am, besides he’d probably just dissect me instead_.’ Izaya meowed bitterly.

Even though Shizuo clearly couldn’t understand what Izaya said he did seem to understand the sentiment behind it.

“Okay, not Shinra? Well, I can’t really blame you for not wanting to go to that pervert … not that you would know, since you’re a cat.” Shizuo left Izaya with his fish to call his brother but Izaya could still hear him from the living room.

“Hey Kasuka … yeah, fine … no, not this time…”

This went on for a while before Shizuo finally came to his reason for calling.

“Um, I found a cat and it’s- no found- it was sitting outside a coffee shop and SOME ASSHOLE DECIDED TO KICK IT JUST ‘CAUSE IT WAS THERE AN- yeah, sorry I know I just got angry thinkin’ about it … anyway it’s hurt pretty bad also it’s wet ‘cause of the rain- right, the point. What should I do to help it? I already gave it some milk and fish- … oh, right … No, I don’t think it does, it doesn’t have a collar so …. A vet, but since it’s a stray won’t they just um, you know … euphemize?- Yeah that... Oh, okay. Yeah that works for me, thanks … You too … bye.”

Shizuo returned to find Izaya done with his fish and resisting the very strong urge he suddenly had to lick his paws clean. He hated being dirty but he didn’t much like the idea of any of that dirt going into his mouth either. Shizuo sat down at the other end of the couch and watched Izaya for a minute before talking to him again.

“So, I called Kasuka; he has a cat so I thought he might know what to do- oh he said I probably shouldn’t give you milk, something about you being intolerant to it …” Shizuo trailed off looking guilty.

‘ _Lactose intolerant_  you mean.’ Izaya meowed “helpfully.”

“Sorry, anyway he said he knows of a vet clinic that treats strays and helps people adopt them instead of … you know.” Shizuo stopped there. “I guess you don’t but anyway I’ll take you there today since it’s not too far away; Tom did give me the rest of the day off after all.”

Shizuo moved to clear away the can and the milk, returning with a bowl of water for Izaya and a damp cloth, which he eyed distrustfully…

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand we have reached the end of my already written chapters, sorry if updates slow down for a while, I don't have the next bit outlined let alone written....


	9. Chapter 9: A Brief Facilitated Escape.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Izaya escapes... briefly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I suck. I spent about equal portions being too sick to write, then too busy, and then just procrastinating.  
> There was never meant to be a gap between these chapters and I'm sorry to stop at such a bad point!!!!

* * *

 

They spent a good twenty minutes fighting. Shizuo was desperately trying to clean Izaya off with the damp cloth while Izaya was just as desperately trying to prevent this. In the end they reached a compromise; Shizuo was able to clean Izaya’s wounds, but from a distance, and he had to bribe Izaya with food in order to keep him still. Once Izaya was as clean as it looked like he was going to get Shizuo stood up and sighed.

“Well, if you can put up that much of a fight you must be feeling a bit better… Kasuka also has the day off so we’re gonna go meet him before we go to the vet kay.”

It wasn’t a question. Izaya clearly wasn’t going to have any say in the matter. It was also clear that he would have to escape at some point between here and the vet, which he did not have the energy to do. Fortunately they didn’t leave right away, Izaya even had time for a short nap while Shizuo showered and did … whatever it is that monsters do to get ready.

 

*****

 

When Shizuo returned to check on the cat it was soundly asleep on the couch. He was ready to go but they had time before they technically _needed_ to leave so he decided to let it sleep a little longer—the poor thing had been through a lot that day. Shizuo moved as quietly as he could, tidying the living room and settling in to watch the news, on a low volume, until Kasuka called to say he was leaving. Occasionally he would glance over at the peacefully sleeping cat and adjust the (clean) towel he had wrapped it in. Of course he really wanted to pet it, but it was injured and hadn’t been terribly cuddly thus far. He didn’t want to scare it especially when it clearly needed the rest.

Finally Kasuka texted him to say he was on his way and would meet them at a nearby café before accompanying them to the vet. Shizuo moved to unwrap the cat, which mewed and looked up at him sleepily.

“I know, you’re probably still tired but it’s time to go meet Kasuka. We’re gonna take you to a vet to get fixed up,” he said quietly, lifting the sleepy and disgruntled cat carefully from its towel.

 

*****

 

Izaya was not at all pleased with this latest turn of events. He was being cradled securely by Shizuo who, incidentally, smelled much worse when the cigarette stench was amplified by Izaya’s new cat-senses, with no obvious avenue of escape. They were on their way to meet Shizuo’s brother before taking Izaya to a vet. This could not be allowed to happen. Even if they didn’t neuter him it could still be a disaster because he had no idea what had actually happened to his anatomy. Was he entirely a cat? Was he still partially human? Would this even be noticeable by a vet? They were trained professionals who dealt specifically with animal anatomy after all. What if they decided to keep him to run tests and experiment on him? At least Shinra had some idea of what had happened … As Izaya’s thoughts reached this point they arrived at the café.  Kasuka was already there, sitting at a small table near the back with Ruri Hijiribe, both of them dressed inconspicuously so as to avoid drawing attention to themselves.

“Hey, Kasuka,” Shizuo greeted his brother quietly.

“I hope you don’t mind I brought Miss Hijiribe with me.”

“Oh. Hi,” he smiled briefly at Ruri before joining them at the table.

“Is that the cat?” she asked, gesturing to the barely visible Izaya, who was still being held closely by Shizuo.

“Yeah, he’s a little grumpy, and doesn’t seem to like people too much…” Shizuo said apologetically.

Izaya felt affronted by this evaluation of his personality.

‘ _I love humans! It’s just you I don’t like you stupid beast!’_ Izaya meowed indignantly.

To prove his point Izaya squirmed out of Shizuo’s hold and into Ruri’s lap where he behaved very affectionately, purring when she pet him and surprising both of them.

“It seems to like me,” said Ruri, surprise just discernable in her tone.

“Cats often do,” said Kasuka.

 _‘She may also be a monster but I hate her less than Shizu-chan. I’m just making it clear that it’s him I don’t like and not humans.’_ Izaya “explained” petulantly. Of course it all came out at small mews rather than the clear explanation he had meant for it to be.

For the rest of the conversation, which moved from discussing the vet to idle chat, Izaya was ignored. Ruri ran her fingers absently though his fur and he purred a bit in return. This would be a good time for his escape—he just had to wait for a distraction to give him a window where he could run away. He passed the time waiting for his opportunity by listening to the various conversations people were having around the room. It was mostly just light chatting, not much real information to be gathered, but Izaya still found it interesting to hear his humans talk about their lives.

His opportunity finally came, just as they were getting up to leave, when someone recognized Ruri. They were just standing up when a group of very familiar people just happened to pass the table where they had been sitting. Ruri was adjusting her hold on the cat when her disguise slipped, revealing her face.

 

*****

 

Saburo Togusa had possibly never been happier in his entire life. They had been driving around aimlessly for a while when Erica suggested they stop for a drink. He never imagined that this would result in him finding himself just two feet away from  _Ruri Hijiribe_ herself. The world truly was a beautiful place.

Of course as soon as he saw her he chose to shriek loudly, thereby drawing the attention of every other person in the coffee shop and causing absolute chaos.

In the midst of that chaos a small cat dropped to the floor and quietly escaped, which none of its captors noticed until they had put a significant distance between themselves and the café…

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will come sooner than this one did!!!!


	10. Chapter 10: Very Brief.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya escapes... briefly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I update so infrequently, I am seriously lazy. The worst part is that this is the writing that I enjoy and I'm still procrastinating... Sorry this chapter is so short, it's just kind of an introduction to the next part, basically I'm organizing these sections by who Izaya ends up being "adopted" by. Hopefully the next chapter will be extra long to make up for this.

* * *

 

 

It had been a bad week for the Yakuza. Bad, but manageable. Until two days ago when the informant Shiki had personally hired to look into another group went missing. If things had been tense before, then now they were on the verge of exploding. And of course as the man who had been placed in charge of dealing with this very delicate job Shiki would have to take full responsibility when everything blew up in their faces.

The Awakusu group had been preparing to meet with an American group and craft a deal that would bring immense profits to both sides. Shiki’s job had been damage control, a job usually left to someone much less important but in this case secrecy was key, meaning only the highest members of each group could be directly involved. He had hired Orihara to quietly gather information on their new partners to make sure they were entering negotiations with an advantage, a move he had been nervous about making anyway. Then Orihara’s secretary told them that he never returned from his last job, and hadn’t called…

 

*****

 

After his glorious escape Izaya had expected to make it much farther. He was back to square one, but this time with a distinct disadvantage, and it seemed unlikely that Celty would help him escape twice…

 

*****

 

Once he had escaped the chaos of the crowded café Izaya had run blindly until he felt that he had put a great enough distance between him and his captors. What he hadn’t counted on was Shinra running into Shizuo and his Brother while searching for a small black and white cat. They of course informed him that they had lost just such a cat mere moments ago and that it must be somewhere within a few blocks.

Thirty minutes and a lot of running later Izaya had found himself cocooned tightly in a ball of Celty’s shadows. Now he was sitting dejectedly on Shinra’s couch as the pseudo-doctor-vet cleaned and wrapped his wounds while chatting happily.

“You really scared me running away like that! You’re lucky Celty agreed to help me find you…”

 _'I’m sure_.' Izaya meowed sarcastically.

“Hey now I really was worried you know,” said Shinra, as if he knew what Izaya had said. “Why did you leave in the first place? It’s not like you can do anything like this and you need me to change you back.”

 _‘I wasn’t entirely sure that you_ would _change me back, and I still don’t trust you, you creep._ ’ Izaya “muttered” resentfully.

Shinra didn’t understand Izaya’s words but his tone was clear enough.

“You should have more faith in me, I am your only friend after all.”

Izaya didn’t grace Shinra with a response to that highly insulting assumption. He had plenty of friends, though perhaps his perception of friendship was a little skewed. Most people didn’t play with and observe their friends … _Even if he_ was _my only friend before he certainly isn’t anymore. If my version of friendship is skewed his is completely perverted into something unrecognizable. What kind of_ friend _would turn me into a fucking cat!_

While Izaya was lost in thought Shinra was busy answering a doorbell that Izaya hadn’t heard ring. Izaya nearly had a heart attack when suddenly he saw Shiki, of the Awakusu group, walking towards him emanating an aura of fury that made his hair stand on end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this is an introduction chapter to the next "section." I'm trying to write this in sections sorted by which character/s have adopted Izaya, section one was Shizuo (and kinda Shinra.) This doesn't mean that there won't be any more Shizuo, just that the story is moving forward through more characters.


	11. Chapter 11: The Awakusu's New Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shinra is dangerously oblivious, Shiki is dangerously skeptical, and Izaya is caught in the crossfire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this is so horribly late, explanations at the end.

* * *

 

 

Izaya didn’t think he had ever been more tense in his life. He was currently being held in the lap of one of his most dangerous clients, listening to a conversation which primarily concerned him, in which he could not participate and all while being pet on the head by said very dangerous client.

When Shiki had entered, Izaya’s first instinct had been to run away and hide under the nearest available piece of furniture. He had not done this though, instead he had frozen. It occurred to him that, for the moment, no one other than Shinra knew who he was and that he should be perfectly safe as long as neither of them did anything suspicious. This had clearly been a mistake. The fact that Shiki’s fingers were now about an inch from Izaya’s very vulnerable neck attested to this fact.

“-and you haven’t heard from him since then?” Shiki was asking, suspicion written clearly across his slightly raised eyebrow.

“Nope! Not since I patched up his arm.” Shinra said at once both cheerful and nervous.

“Right, when he was attacked by a client… Did he mention which client he was meeting when this happened?”

“Nope, and I didn’t ask.” Shinra said, still cheerful.

“No of course not, I’m not here to ask you to break your doctor-patient confidentiality, I’m just trying to find Orihara. He happened to be working on a very important and _sensitive_ job for me when he disappeared. You can understand my predicament I’m sure.”

There was an implied threat under that, warning Shinra that if he was withholding any information he would regret it. Knowing Shinra’s social skills Izaya was worried that he would miss the subtext of this conversation entirely, in spite of the danger clearly emanating from Shiki. True to form Shinra remained stubbornly oblivious and continued lying terribly to one of the most dangerous men in Ikebukuro.

“Well, I can’t really help you there, sorry!” He gave Shiki what he obviously thought was a winning smile. “I don’t know any more about Izaya’s current whereabouts than you do, probably less because I haven’t been looking!”

His voice was strained, his laugh nervous, and his gaze kept returning to the cat on Shiki’s lap every time Izaya’s name was mentioned. He was telling Shiki very clearly that not only was he lying but that the cat was suspicious, and he knew exactly where Izaya was, he could hardly have been more obvious if he actually _had_ just told Shiki everything. Izaya suspected the only thing keeping Shiki from figuring out the whole story was its unbelievable nature. If it were more common, or even just less impossible, for people to suddenly turn into cats he would probably already be demanding that Shinra turn him back so that information could be extracted and suitable punishment inflicted.

But Shiki said nothing about Shinra’s obvious attempt at deception, instead rising and thanking Shinra for his time, urging him to “Please contact me if you hear, or _remember_ anything,” a final warning which Shinra missed as entirely as he had everything else to that point, before letting himself out of the apartment.

Izaya for his part had leapt down from Shiki’s lap at the first opportunity and, with as much dignity as could be mustered, hid under the couch where he made unpleasant guttural ‘maaaawls’ at Shinra for the better part of the afternoon.

 

Shinra had decided not to tell Celty about Shiki’s visit so when they were both suddenly called away on urgent jobs from new clients neither were properly suspicious. Izaya, of course being the talented informant/reasonably intelligent _(former?)_ human being he was, immediately saw that they were being drawn out of the apartment so that Shiki’s men could search it without their interference. It was so obvious that Izaya almost doubted Shiki’s judgement but really in light of just how oblivious Shinra had proved himself that afternoon he couldn’t really find any fault with this uncharacteristic lack of subtlety. He chose instead to judge Shinra for _his_ lack of subtlety.

 

*****

 

They arrived about half an hour after Shinra and Celty left for their respective “jobs,” a show of caution that Izaya greatly approved of. Regardless of however much it inconvenienced him Izaya could always appreciate a well-executed operation. He loved all humans but he had a particular fondness for Shiki that could almost be called respect if it weren’t dripping with condescension. Izaya had abandoned his hiding place under the couch, it would be pointless anyway since in their search of the apartment these men would of course check every conceivable hiding place, in favor of curling up in an obvious but plausible position on the couch from which he would be able to see everything without seeming to.

They were very thorough, methodically searching through every part of the apartment, replacing everything exactly where they found it like true professionals—leaving no trace of themselves to be discovered upon Shinra and Celty’s return. The entire process took just under 10 minutes and was extremely satisfying to watch. Izaya actually found himself _purring_ with satisfaction. That was until one of the men returned to the living room carrying Izaya’s still bloody clothing which he offered to the group’s leader wordlessly. Izaya hadn’t realized that his clothing had not been a part of his transformation. He spared a very brief moment on the thought that this might be a problem when he changed back to his human, and apparently naked, body before shifting his full attention to the phone call the leader was making. Izaya heard him report the find to his boss and state that there was no other evidence to be found here, he also heard Shiki himself reply that they were to return and bring the clothing with them and nothing else. Izaya knew enough about the Yakuza to see that there was a very distinct possibility that they would think Shinra had murdered Izaya and that this could be a problem for him. As he followed the men unnoticed out of the apartment and into the vehicle they had waiting behind the apartment complex Izaya wondered if Shinra would be worth the effort of saving from this predicament.

 

*****

 

It took nearly half the trip for Izaya to come to the conclusion that, yes he probably should save Shinra but no, there would be no real harm in doing so at the last possible second. Izaya would let this go as far as it could without Shinra getting seriously hurt, it would do him good to be scared for once, then maybe he would think twice next time he got the bright idea to try out some new mystery drug on Izaya. He spent the rest of the ride visualizing the various scenarios this could play out into and how he would deal with each one. When they arrived Izaya recognized the small “art gallery” that hid the Awakusu group’s Ikebukuro base. He was able to sneak out of the car and into the gallery with little trouble. No one seemed to care about him being there so he was able to wander freely through the building eavesdropping on various hushed conversations. Izaya was thrilled by the opportunity to gather such valuable and closely guarded information, things that he would otherwise never be able to learn. As long as he stayed clear of Shiki Izaya felt confident that he would not be stopped, even if he didn’t believe in talking cats he would certainly recognize Izaya from his visit to Shinra’s apartment and might think he was bugged. The Yakuza didn’t like spies…

 

*****

 

If Celty had ears she would be covering them.

Upon discovering Izaya’s second disappearance Shinra had begun a long (and _loud_ ) lament of the poor quality of his friends and the theme in his life of constant abandonment. It had long since turned into a monologue about the unbreakable bond he shared with her and promises of fidelity that were, at best unnecessary and, at worst extremely embarrassing. Even a swift punch to the gut couldn’t stem the flow of words that continued to wheeze out of his mouth. Celty didn’t bother to dignify any of the latter with a response, preferring instead to inform Shinra that if he wanted Izaya back he could look for him alone this time and retreating to the sanctuary of her locked bedroom.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I stopped writing during finals because I really needed to focus on not failing all of my classes, that is reason #1 for the delay.  
> HOWEVER, I know I said "I'll probably be posting tomorrow" ages ago and then didn't, this is because after getting some dental surgery I was prescribed a bunch of painkillers and antibiotics that it turned out I am extremely allergic to and spent the whole time I was on them unable to even sit up in bed let alone get up and be productive. I am fine now and I promise to be less lazy about updating this. I am absolutely going to finish it!! I never discontinue any of my projects without warning.
> 
> Like I said before this this is the first real chapter of the Awakusu ark but I do intend to return to Shizuo and Shinra later, basically I haven't outlined much past this point so if there are any characters you want Izaya to run into I'm open to suggestions.


	12. Chapter 12: A Very Fluffy Spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Izaya is a spy.

Izaya knew his way around the Awakusu headquarters from previous visits, though he had never been allowed full access to the building before. Following the man who was to report to Shiki was, he decided, the best way to learn what they intended to do with Shinra—though it was probably also the best way to get himself caught and killed. Cautiously he peeked around the corner of every room they came to before entering. A futile effort as it turned out since Shiki decided to approach _them_ , silently appearing from behind as they reached his office.

“I assume you’re here to report on the Orihara situation.” He said smoothly, scaring the shit out of his poor subordinate, who had been working up the courage to knock.

Izaya only just had time to leap out of the way as Shiki opened the door and ushered the man in. He was not, however, able to enter, having been trapped in the corner between the door and wall when he dodged. He wouldn’t have tried anyway, he doubted he could have slipped in unnoticed. He settled instead for standing in front of the door, though not too close, and carefully grooming his already clean fur. He kept his ears perked and was delighted to discover that they could very easily pick up the voices coming from the other room.

The report was short and to the point, nothing Izaya didn’t already know: They had searched Shinra’s apartment, found nothing unusual apart from Izaya’s bloody clothes, and that they had left no trace of their intrusion. Shiki listened quietly, instructed the man to leave Izaya’s clothing on the chair and then excused him, no further orders at this time. A minute later he heard Shiki cross the room, probably to examine the clothing for himself because he murmured “not enough to be fatal,” before moving back to his desk to make a phone call.

Even with his enhanced hearing Izaya was not able to make out the voice of the person on the phone but he was able to infer from Shiki’s side of the conversation that he was talking to Akabayashi, that it was about the job Izaya had been hired for, and that Shiki was not happy to be asking for Akabayashi’s help, nor was he entirely willing to confide in him just yet.

“It’s me, are you busy?”

…

“No, that’s fine, I need to talk to you about-“

…

“Yes, this partly is about him, how did you know?”

…

“I hired him to look into something for me, the agreement with the Americans.”

…

“I know, I informed him of the sensitivity of the situation. I heard that they are also talking to other groups, I asked him to find out what they’re offering these other groups. I wanted to make sure we had the advantage going into negotiations.”

…

…

“Yes.” The sudden change in Shiki’s tone made Izaya pause in his act of nonchalance to shiver. Whatever the other had said was clearly not appreciated.

“I thought about that very carefully before hiring Orihara. I don’t trust them, there’s something they’re not telling us.”

…

“Of course, but I think that they want more than they’re asking for, why would they come all the way to Japan to _not_ sell?”

…

“You do that, call me first if you hear anything.”

…

“I’m sure.” He laughed softly and hung up.

Izaya had only just started his investigation when Shinra had decided to use him as a human Guinea pig so the only information he had consisted of the small briefing he got from Shiki when given the job and what little could be found online. This group was careful. They were an American organization, to the public an elite investment agency, while privately they handled political bribes and illegal exports. A purely bureaucratic organization that dealt with connecting buyers with sellers and ensuring that they weren’t discovered, or if they were, that they would not be prosecuted. At least that is what they told the Awakusu group when they met to inform them that they would like to set up a new headquarters in Japan. They had been adamant that they were not there to compete with the current Yakuza and wished instead to cooperate with them. They weren’t there to start a new operation or to sell anything in Awakusu territory. Shiki had been, rightly, suspicious of this. He had heard rumors that this same group was also meeting with other families to make similar offers. Izaya had been hired to discover the exact details of these other offers and to investigate the nature of their business. There was only so much that could be done online though so, after coming up against a seemingly unending series of dead ends, Izaya had decided to meet with a representative from the American group himself. This meeting, which had been scheduled to occur two days ago, had been prevented by Shinra.

Izaya hadn’t told Namie which clients he was meeting with before he had left so he felt reasonably certain that Shiki hadn’t received any information from her but that didn’t make it impossible to figure out. If he learned that the meeting Izaya had planned for the day on which he mysteriously disappeared had been with a representative from the American group it could potentially start a gang war. Izaya liked chaos sure, but only when he could control it. He would set off fights between _color gangs_ but wars with the Yakuza were something even he would vehemently avoid.

Inside the room Izaya heard Shiki moving towards the door and decided he should probably leave to find a place to hide for the night. The idea of sleeping in a dusty “art gallery” surrounded by hostile, armed men did not really appeal to Izaya but at least it was indoors and not raining which could be considered an improvement after the last few nights.

 

*****

 

Shingen Kishitani was not a patient man. Because this particular aspect of his personality could often be detrimental to his scientific endeavors he had long ago adopted a habit of keeping several experiments running at any given time—staggering them so that one of them would always be at a point that required his active involvement. This strategy had worked quite well for the man, it was what had allowed him to wait almost twenty years for one single experiment (half of which was currently living with his son) and to rise among the ranks of Nebula scientists to a rather high position. The funding required for all of these simultaneous projects had always been provided to him gladly by the company, after all though his way of working may have cost as much as that of every other Nebula scientist combined the results were even greater than twice those produced by his colleagues.

Recently however, things had changed. Nebula was experiencing problems with a rival corporation. Research was being stolen and produced at a rate that Nebula couldn’t compete with. One week a Nebula scientist would start a project the next their rival corporation would be releasing it as their own finished product. It had reached the point where, in order to ensure security Nebula was forced to reduce their staff by almost 60% and each team was being restricted to one experiment at a time, all of which would be closely monitored by the higher-ups. Since Shingen and his wife were technically considered a team he couldn’t even use her as an excuse to run more experiments.

The strain that this boredom was putting on him had only served to make Shingen even more obnoxious than usual. His coworkers had pleaded with him to take a vacation simply to get him to stop barging into their labs demanding access to _their_ experiments. It was during this vacation, taken with his son in Japan, that Shingen had thought of the solution to all of his problems. To his mind what Nebula needed was one really great invention that would set them far enough ahead of their competition that a few stolen projects wouldn’t be such a big deal to them. It just happened that one of the experiments that Shingen had been forced to put on hold was a drug, created from a supernatural organism that had the ability to change its form, which he had been trying to adapt for use in humans.

The main problem with this drug was that the organism it was derived from was bacterial, a _microorganism_. The thing about bacteria was that they were just inherently much better at adapting than their larger counterparts. Even experiments on smaller mammals had proved unstable. The eukaryotic cell was simply not made to withstand this kind of stress and with the added supernatural element, results had been unpredictable at best. To make things even more difficult Shingen had been forced to carry out most of his experimentation in secret. Even when he had not been limited by Nebula he had been unable to procure permission for human trials. In the opinion of the board Shingen’s experiments on small mammals had “failed to produce significant and reliable enough results to merit further action or funding at this time.”

Of course Shingen had progressed since then and in _his_ opinion he now had the results he had lacked back then—even if he could no longer present them to the board for approval. In the end if he were able to present them with an impressive enough product Shingen felt certain that the board would be willing to overlook his rule bending. Besides, the way he had set things up his son would be the one doing all the experimenting, not him. He would simply be recording the results…

It had been almost a whole _week_ since Shingen had left behind the vial of his new drug. Knowing his son he felt sure that Shinra would have found someone to try it out on within a day of discovering it there. That left five whole days for the experiment to take place. Plenty of time if you asked him, not that anyone would, even if it hadn’t been highly classified information… As he packed for his flight back to Japan Shingen wondered about who Shinra’s test subject would be. A client? Unlikely, Shinra had his reputation to consider after all… A friend? He didn’t think his son had any, apart from the freakishly strong boy from elementary school and Orihara-kun of course. Shingen highly doubted his son would be stupid enough to mess with either of them though…

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized once I started writing the next chapter that this wasn't very clear but Shingen packing happens the next day (day three of Izaya being a cat) But he won't be arriving until the day after (day four of Izaya being a cat) Which is where his math on how many days it has been comes from. Also he has assumed that Shinra would try the drug out the day after Shingen left it at the latest but Shinra didn't actually test it on Izaya until two days later. If things get too confusing I might post a timeline for this as well. Please let me know in comments if it's necessary.


	13. Chapter 13: Blind Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shinra makes several loud phone calls and Celty sends just as many texts to apologize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has had significantly less editing than any of its predecessors so if you notice any errors please let me know and I'll fix them. I wanted to make sure I at least posted something this week.

 

* * *

 

“Hello?”

_“Kadota!!! Round up all the help you can get! This is an emergency!!”_

“Huh? Shinra? What’s an emergency?”

_“I lost- um … a cat. It’s very important that I get it back immediately!!”_

“A cat…? You lost a cat and that’s the emergency?”

_“Well, it’s, um, a very sick cat and it can’t be left alone without treatment so it is very important that I get it back! It’s really small and fluffy and has white patches on its feet and neck. It ran away yesterday.”_

“Awwww Dotachin, We _have_ to save this poor kitty!” cried Erica who had been leaning close to listen in to the call.

“Yes indeed! Perhaps it’s some kind of secret experiment that Kishitani-sensei was developing and can give me my super powers!” Shouted Walker from his perch on top of the van, posing theatrically.

“Okay, I guess we’ll help. What’s its name? Also does it have a collar?”

 _“Uuuum.”_ The doctor paused _“I didn’t name it and I didn’t give it a collar, but I’m sure if you find it that won’t matter. Thanks!”_ The doctor hung up before anyone could object.

“So we just drive around looking for a cat … in _Tokyo_?” Asked Togusa.

“I guess so, it’s not like we have anything better to do today.” Kadota conceded, to rapturous applause and cheering from Erica and Walker.

 

******

 

_“SHIZUO-KUN!!!”_

Shizuo pulled the phone away from his ear, which was already ringing.

_“DO YOU REMEMBER THAT CAT? THE ONE YOU FOUND TWO DAYS AGO?”_

“Shinra, for fuck’s sake, STOP SHOUTING IN MY EAR OR I WILL HANG UP.” Shizuo shouted.

 _“Sorry! It’s just that this is an emergency!”_ Shinra continued in an only slightly quieter tone.

“What’s an emergency? The cat?”

 _“IT’S GONE!”_ Shinra half-whined, half-shouted.

“YOU PROBABLY SCARED IT AWAY WITH ALL THIS SHOUTING!” Shizuo shouted again _—_ on the verge of making good on his promise to hang up.

_“I’m sorry, I’m just worried. It was really sick when it ran away and I need to find it before it gets worse! Can you help me look for it?”_

“Shinra, I’m. At. Work.”

_“…”_

He sighed. “I can’t look for it right now but if I happen to see it I’ll bring it to you, okay?”

 _“Thank you!”_  Shinra hung up without waiting for Shizuo to respond.

“Your doctor friend?” Asked Tom with a raised eyebrow.

Shizuo nodded.

“He sounded worried, do you need to take the day off?” Tom asked kindly.

“No, he’s just overreacting. Besides this is only a half-day so I can go figure this out after we’re done,” Said Shizuo unconcerned as they continued toward their next job.

“Okay, if you say so,” Tom said, following him.

 

******

 

[I’m so sorry Anri.]

 

[Celty-san? What for?]

 

[Didn’t Shinra call you too?]

 

[Yes a few minutes ago, he sounded really worried!]

 

[Yes, he’s been calling everyone and shouting at them. I didn’t think he had your number though.]

[I am so sorry, did he interrupt your class?]

 

[No, Celty-san it’s Saturday … really it’s okay.]

[Has anyone found the cat yet?]

 

[No not yet.]

 

[Well, tell Kishitani-sensei that I’ll look around, I can use Saika to cover more ground.]

 

[Okay, thank you Anri. Don’t go to too much trouble!]

[and please, just call him Shinra, Kishitani-Sensei is his father (;¬_¬)]

 

~~~Six hours ago~~~

 

Shingen arrived at his son’s apartment at exactly five minutes past four in the morning. A fact that neither he, nor Celty seemed to appreciate. They were both standing in the front hallway glaring at him tiredly. Well, Shinra was glaring tiredly, the feeling emanating from Celty could hardly be produced by a mere glare. Black smoke was pouring thickly all around them, filling the whole apartment and making it rather difficult for its human occupants to breathe.

“Son, I’m hooooooome!” Shingen shouted to his son, who was standing less than a foot away.

“It’s four in the morning,” said Shinra, in lieu of a proper greeting.

“I am your father and this is all the welcome I get?!” Shingen tried to appear scandalized but it was impossible for them to read this carefully crafted facial expression through the gas mask he always insisted on wearing.

[You are an intruder.] “Said” Celty, before storming back to her bedroom and slamming the door.

“Really Shinra, this is the woman you plan to marry one day? Well, I’m not here to interfere in your romantic endeavors, we can have a chat about those later, I’m here to observe the progress you’ve made on my little experiment. Everything went well I trust? You were able to find a suitable test subject?”

“ _Your_ experiment?!” Cried Shinra in shock and annoyance.

“Yes, that new drug I’ve developed, I wasn’t able to get permission for human trials but I knew I could rely on you for support!” Shingen replied, still shouting, as he clapped a hand familiarly on Shinra’s shoulder.

Shinra removed said hand and pulled his father into the apartment in a futile attempt at quieting him before he could wake all of their neighbors with his possibly dangerous and certainly illicit information.

“You mean that unlabeled vial you left here? I wasn’t aware that it was part of your experiment so I threw it away.” Shinra lied easily, relishing in the horrified response from his father.

“What do you mean you threw it away!” Shingen was half way to hysterics when he suddenly stopped and turned around pointing a finger at Shinra. “Ah! I see, that was a joke! Some small attempt at petty revenge _—_ I must say you had me fooled there for a moment but I know you too well! No son of mine would ever be able to resist such a tantalizing mystery. Now tell me, who did you use? A client, or perhaps a vagrant?”

“I told you, no one, I didn’t keep it.” Shinra said annoyance straining his voice.

“Yes, yes, you’ve already told that joke Shinra. Now on to serious business. That particular drug had some … problems in initial clinical trials.”

Shinra was suddenly paying _very_ close attention, a detail his father did not miss.

“As you probably know by now the main effect of the drug is transformative, though the actual transformation seems to vary at random. The creature it is based from is not entirely understood in the first place. The subject is biologically altered at a cellular level to take on the appearance of another organism entirely! Because the original creature is a prokaryote I don’t have as much experience with how it works on mammals but I imagine the principal is the same _—_ some sample of one animal is taken and used as a blueprint for the transformation of the host who then takes on the attributes … well it’s all very fascinating but from the look you’re giving me I can see you’re getting impatient-“

“What _problems_?” Shinra asked urgently, all attempts at deceit forgotten in a rush of panic.

“Weeeeell, during some of our trials on mice and other small vertebrates we noticed that more than just appearance had been altered by the drug…”

“What do you mean _more than appearance?_ ” Shinra practically screamed at his father, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him vigorously.

“I-I-I we-well,” Shingen stammered through the shaking, “We observed that after a significant period of time the transformation began to spread to cerebral functions as well. Particularly behavioral patterns, they would start acting like they looked so to speak! Of course once they had taken on those traits they retained them even after their physical form had been restored!”

“You’re saying Izaya-kun is going to start thinking he really _is_ a cat? That this is permanent?!” Shinra’s screams had grown so loud and frantic the Celty had returned to make sure he wasn’t being murdered.

“Well, none of the effects are permanent as long as the subject is reverted within a reasonable time frame, did you say ‘Izaya-kun’? You don’t mean Orihara do you?”

“YES IZAYA ORIHARA!” Shinra wailed.

“You tried the drug on _him_?!” Shingen said incredulously. “Do you have a death wish? I can hardly believe my own flesh and blood would be _that_ foolish.”

Shinra simply released his father and sank slowly to the floor with a small whimper.

[What is going on? And why is he still here?] Celty typed angrily, thrusting her PDA in Shinra’s face.

“We have to find Izaya-kun, soon. I have made a horrible mistake and if I don’t fix this soon I might get shot by the Yakuza … Unless Izaya-kun gets to me first…”

Celty and Shingen both stared, silently demanding an explanation.

 

******

 

Shinra explained as calmly as he could (which was not very calmly at all but at least he was trying) about his meeting with Shiki and the job that Izaya had been on before Shinra had drugged him and that Izaya had run away _again_. Celty was trembling slightly with fury at both of them. It seemed that foolishness and a total lack of morals ran in the Kishitani family. When Shinra finished she sighed, her shoulders slumping, and typed out a message to both of them.

[Okay, first thing tomorrow morning I’ll set out with shooter and look for him. If I can’t find him, I’ll just go to Shiki-san and explain that Izaya was not kidnapped.]

Shinra and Shingen both shouted their protests immediately.

“But Ceeeelty! They’ll be furious with me! What if they decide to shoot me anyway!?”

“I hardly think that is called for now really! We just have to work together to solve this before anyone finds out about it, haha.”

It was Shingen’s nervous laughter that drew her attention.

[‘Before anyone finds out’? What do you mean by that?]

“Ah, well you see, I didn’t exactly get permission to run this experiment at all, let alone revealing it to the _public_. I’m afraid that this is deeply classified information and we would be in some serious trouble with Nebula if they were to learn I had- um, let out word of it. So it would be in everyone’s best interest if this were to be resolved as quickly and _quietly_ as possible.” Shingen scratched his neck self-consciously.

[Fine, I’ll deal with it. I don’t really want to fight Nebula right now.]

[You, shut up.] She aimed this at Shinra who had been wailing on the floor.

[And you, work on the antidote, have it ready to use as soon as I get Izaya here.]

They both nodded solemnly. Celty stood, thinking wistfully of her bed and the nice dream she had been having before Shingen arrived.

[I’m going now. I’ll start looking around the neighborhood first, I’ll also check his apartment in Shinjuku.]

She stopped briefly in her room to change and grab her helmet before heading to the garage to wake shooter, who was exactly as happy to be searching for Izaya at _four-thirty_ in the morning as she was.

 

~~~Now~~~

 

So now Celty was driving around the city searching for one small black cat, and texting apologies to her friends, all of whom Shinra had decided to involve in the search. She toyed for a moment with the idea of leaving Shinra to clean up his own mess for once but abandoned the thought. In the end she was too fond of him to allow him to get _seriously_ hurt…

* * *

 


	14. Chapter 14: A wonderful (also terrible) idea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the second half of a previously mentioned phone call is held, and Izaya is really bored.

 

* * *

 

 

~~~Two days ago, a bar in Ikebukuro~~~

 

The bar had been almost empty. There was an old woman sitting in the corner booth, a regular, and a man with red hair and a scar over one eye sitting at the bar _—_ another regular. They were both finishing their drinks quietly when a group of teenagers fought their way through the front door and approached the man at the bar. The bartender surreptitiously moved away from the man, toward the older woman. He asked her if she would like to be escorted out the back way before the inevitable fight. When she declined he offered her another drink, on the house, to apologize for the upcoming disturbance and this time, she accepted.

 

*****

 

Akabayashi turned toward the tap on his shoulder and effortlessly caught the fist, which he had anticipated just as easily, long before it could connect with his face.

“Now, shouldn’t you kids be out somewhere playing video games or something? You don’t look old enough to be patrons here.” He said condescendingly, smirking knowingly at them.

“Fuck you old man!” Shouted one from the back of the group.

Another, clearly the leader, continued in a slightly more civil tone. “Hey man, we’re only here because of _your_ invitation.”

“Sorry, you must be mistaken. I’m not the kind of guy to bring kids into a bar.” Said Akabayashi still smiling.

“So you’re saying you’re not the asshole who beat up our guys? Ha?” One of the larger kids asked from behind his leader.

“Oh, I did do that, but that wasn’t an invitation, more of a warning to get the hell out of our territory.” His tone was getting more dangerous now, a hint of violence sitting just under the surface.

“Oh yeah? And whose territory is it exactly?” The leader taunted.

“Yakuza territory kid, now I suggest you leave before I’m forced to break things. I’ll let you go without a fight since I happen to like coming here and don’t want to get kicked out.” He winked … dangerously.

His phone rang out a fitting soundtrack to their retreat as Akabayashi retrieved it to answer the call.

The caller ID had no name, of course, but he knew the number.

 

“Hello?”

Akabayashi moved to a more private corner of the bar as Shiki replied.

_“It’s me, are you busy?”_

“Just finishing up actually, is this something you can discuss on the phone or would you rather meet up?” He asked, leaving a tip on the bar and downing his drink.

_“No, that’s fine, I need to talk to you about-“_

“The fact that your favorite informant has very suddenly and _inconveniently_ gone missing?” He finished for the other smugly.

_“Yes, this partly is about him, how did you know?”_

“I heard that you met up a few days ago to give him a very _special_ job.”

_“I hired him to look into something for me, the agreement with the Americans.”_

“That’s a bold move.” He commented, already moving to the door, which still hung open.

_“I know, I informed him of the sensitivity of the situation. I heard that they are also talking to other groups, I asked him to find out what they’re offering these other groups. I wanted to make sure we had the advantage going into negotiations.”_

“Ironic, considering that this might just put us at a disadvantage if Orihara was caught.” He chided quietly

_“…”_

 

The pause on the other end made it clear that Shiki had not appreciated the jab.

 

_“Yes. I thought about that very carefully before hiring Orihara. I don’t trust them, there’s something they’re not telling us.”_

“Which is only natural, no one goes into these things without a few secrets.” Akabayashi stepped into the alley behind the bar, breathing in the night air.

 _“Of course, but I think that they want more than they’re asking for, why would they come all the way to Japan to_ not _sell?”_

“I see your point … Okay, I’ll look into it,” he was already moving down the street, on his way to do just that. “But if this blows up on you later I wasn’t involved.”

 _“You do that, call me first if you hear anything.”_ He said, ignoring Akabayashi’s condition entirely.

“… You sure about this? It’s a pretty big risk to take over a feeling.”

 _“I’m sure.”_ Shiki laughed softly and hung up.

 

A few feet away, unnoticed, Mikado Ryugamine heard Akabayashi mutter to himself.

“So Orihara really is missing … huh.” Before he moved away, lost to the crowd.

 

~~~One day ago, in an “art gallery” downtown~~~

 

Izaya had been here all day and yet had been able to gather exactly no more information. Well, no relevant information. After 24 hours of following bored gangsters around their base while they waited for orders Izaya now knew far more than he ever needed to about the state of the place’s coffee machine (not quite broken but it wasn’t exactly working either), the benefits of a new shaving cream many of them had been trying out (half the cost and twice as smooth!), and the progress of some particularly unattractive toddlers who belonged to one of the more popular men (two and six already, how time flies!) _—_ all of which would have been _fascinating_ had Izaya not been in the middle of a crisis. No one in the whole place was talking about the upcoming negotiations with the Americans or his disappearance, most of them probably didn’t even know about either, and Shiki hadn’t returned since leaving late last night.

Izaya came, reluctantly, to the conclusion that if he wanted more information he would have to look for it elsewhere … The sound of a Jenga tower falling in the other room distracted him for a moment. He began to groom slowly, a habit he had formed unconsciously and now couldn’t shake, as he mentally listed his currently limited resources. Then he had an idea. A wonderful, terrible, brilliant, and incredibly stupid idea. He could spy on the Americans.

As a cat Izaya could hardly be more anonymous and as an informant he knew exactly where to find them. It was a golden opportunity to finish his job, he might even find some very valuable piece of information that would convince Shiki not to punish Shinra (or more importantly, Izaya himself) for his untimely disappearance. He could sneak into their hotel, maybe follow them when they left … and then he could get himself murdered by an overly aggressive American bodyguard with an itchy trigger finger _—_ which was the stupid part of the idea. These men might not be as paranoid as Shiki was but they were twice as cruel. He doubted that they would be suspicious of a cat following them but they might want to kill it just for fun.

So he wouldn’t follow them, but he could at least watch their hotel and see who visited. It would be a much safer version of his first plan and with the added bonus of possible scraps from one of the many restaurants that surrounded the hotel. He hadn’t had much to eat here, a few stolen bites from unguarded plates, a drink of water from a dripping faucet. Hardly enough to sustain him for long. Plus it would be nice to get outside again and participate in his favorite hobby.

At this point he became aware of the fact that he had been _licking his paw and dragging it over his face_ and that his mouth was filled with the bitter taste of the dust which had accumulated in his fur. Gingerly he set down his still wet paw and headed to the front door to wait for the next person to leave so that he could sneak out with them. 

* * *

 


	15. Chapter 15: A Poorly Coordinated Yet Surprisingly Effective Group Effort Made in the Pursuit of One Very Small Cat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Izaya finds himself the unwitting objective of what must be at least the entire city.

* * *

 

At a busy intersection of downtown Ikebukuro, on one corner and occupying an entire city block, is a shopping center. On another sits a fancy hotel and the two other corners are in turn inhabited by other, smaller businesses; a fast-food restaurant, a quaint but overpriced café, and a little souvenir shop that is not associated directly with the hotel but is certainly taking advantage of its proximity to attract tourists with their cheap plastic key rings and generic post cards. It is just past noon, the shiny metallic siding of the shopping center reflects the midday sun. In the nearest window of the shopping center a bank of TV screens all show the same advertisement, their speakers blasting the same painfully cheerful jingle which strongly encourages passersby to buy whatever it is that their large round pink mascot is holding.

In the window seat of the aforementioned fast-food restaurant sits Mikado Ryugamine, waiting for his friends, Anri Sonohara and Masaomi Kida to meet him…

 

******

 

Mikado found himself once again thinking about what he had overheard two nights ago and was finally giving in to curiosity as he pulled up the dollars website on his phone. He began by idly scrolling through the different threads, looking for one that mentioned any sightings of Izaya Orihara. However there were none, nor had there been any speculation about his absence. Most people online didn’t even know him by name, his notoriety coming mainly from his many public encounters with Shizuo Heiwajima over the years _—_ none of which had occurred in the past week. He even checked the chatroom hosted by “Kanra”, but no one had logged in at all since their last group chat two nights ago and “Kanra” had been away for even longer. It wasn’t his business anyway but Mikado couldn’t help but worry. In spite of Kida’s warnings he couldn’t simply assume that Izaya was just off causing trouble elsewhere (even if it was the most likely cause for his absence) because it was also quite possible that Izaya was in real trouble and even that there was something that Mikado could do to help. Besides, Izaya himself was in the dollars, or at least he has hinted as much, which made Mikado feel some measure of responsibility for him. He had been very helpful to Mikado and even if it was motivated by self-interest he had given Mikado a not insignificant amount of free information and advice. Perhaps he should send out a few anonymous questions and comments, nothing official, just enough to get the conversation started. Maybe someone out there knew something… At this point in his deliberation Masaomi and Anri entered the restaurant causing Mikado to jump guiltily and close all the tabs in his phone’s browser before greeting them.

 

******

 

Across the street a small black and white cat watched Mikado, having what looked like some kind of moral crisis, with great amusement. The crisis ended and with it the cat’s interest so he turned his attention back to the hotel on the opposite corner. Several very interesting people had entered and left over the three hours of Izaya’s observation. He had been carefully committing their faces and arrival times to memory. He had set himself up strategically in front of the shopping center _—_ the bank of TVs behind him were faithfully displaying the time in the bottom of the screen beside weather forecasts for the upcoming week and announcements that up next would be an interview with the winner of a semi-popular reality TV show that Izaya had never bothered watching. He still had no ideas about returning to his human form but he did have the beginnings of a very promising report to offer Shiki when he did. He would need more, of course, but having seen the faces of the people the Americans had met with so far (some of whom he even recognized as the leaders of other local Yakuza families) Izaya would have a nice list of people to investigate once he was physically capable of using a computer again. Though perhaps getting just a little closer wouldn’t hurt. Having a head start would be nice and all, but in a worst case scenario he might need to have something a little bit more immediately presentable…

Izaya began to make his way carefully toward the hotel, out of which were emerging two men who had clearly just left a meeting with the Americans, and was almost within earshot when he was spotted by a man with glowing red eyes who immediately reported this sighting to Anri who was still sitting in the window seat of the nearby restaurant. This led to her leaving to investigate which quickly evolved into a long, stressful chase involving Anri, aided by Saika’s children, Mikado, prompted by Anri and aided by the dollars, and Masaomi, also prompted by Anri but aided by no one. As the intensity of his pursuit increased so too did the number of participants. After what felt like hours but in reality could only have been at most ten minutes of panic-fueled running Izaya could have sworn that the whole city was following him.

 

******

 

Several blocks away Celty noticed a change in pedestrian traffic which seemed to indicate that something big was happening. She had just decided to investigate when she was suddenly overtaken by a familiar van which rounded the corner on two wheels, nearly hitting Anri and her friends who were charging off in the same direction. She tried to catch their attention to ask what was happening but all three were too intent on their goal, whatever it was, to notice her waving.

When she caught up to them it became apparent that the people she had seen so far were only a small part of a much larger crowd. There were people of every kind surging past her, old and young, businessmen and high school girls. Some had red eyes and were moving with a sort of mindless coordination, others were constantly checking their phones, changing direction or stopping randomly in response to the latest post, there were even some wearing yellow scarves joining in on whatever this was.

Then, at the far end of the block, Celty saw the cause of all this chaos. A very small, frazzled-looking, black and white cat was running away at full speed occasionally glancing over his shoulder at the approaching mass. It was almost funny. Izaya would of course have no idea why the entire city had suddenly decided to devote its afternoon to his pursuit and would undoubtedly be terrified. It looked a bit like a scene out of a horror film, like that one where the aliens were taking over people’s bodies and in the very last scene the only man left unconquered was running away from an enormous alien horde … Celty shuddered, perhaps she should intervene before he had a heart attack or an overzealous gang member tackled him. The problem was that the sheer number of people was making moving forward impossible as they were blocking both sidewalks and the road. Checking to make sure there were no cops nearby Celty threw out her shadows over the street, creating a bridge over which shooter could drive _—_ thus bypassing the crowd entirely. In a matter of seconds she had the terrified Izaya tucked securely in a bag made from shadows, slung across her back, and was speeding back towards her apartment where Shinra and his father would, with any luck, already have a cure ready and waiting.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the irregular updates, I just can't really do creative things like writing within the bounds of a regular schedule apparently. I plan to try to fix this by writing ahead more often so that I have something ready to go at least once a week even when I don't have the time or motivation to write.  
> Also sorry that this one's a bit short, it took me a longer time to write it than I thought it would and I wanted to make sure I posted something today and this was the only convenient stopping point.


	16. Chapter 16: In Which Izaya Will be “Just Fine”… Probably.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In spite of Shinra’s reassurances Izaya can’t help but feel a certain sense of foreboding that accompanies this diagnosis.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that so many people would come when I sent out the message. They weren’t all Saika’s children though, I don’t know where they all came from.”

Anri, who had somehow made it to Celty’s apartment before she did in spite of being on foot, had been making similar quiet apologies to Celty ever since meeting her at the elevator. Even through the whisper she was adopting to avoid being heard by her friends who had followed her, Celty could hear a slight tremble in Anri’s voice.

[It’s fine really! If there hadn’t been so many people there I probably wouldn’t have noticed that the cat was there.]

[Although maybe next time you should just text me.]

“I know that’s what I should have done in the first place but it was leaving and I couldn’t be sure it would still be there by the time you got there so I just-“

[It’s okay Anri … but, um, why are you here now?]

[Not that you aren’t welcome to come over any time but…]

The other two had started paying attention by now, having caught their breath.

“Oh, well we were hoping to- that is if you don’t mind- we wanted to make sure it was all right. Kishitani-sensei said that the cat was hurt and, well we were afraid we might have made it worse …” Mikado answered for Anri, stumbling over his words and rubbing his neck awkwardly.

_‘I’m going to kill Shinra when I see him … Once I show them Izaya it’ll be obvious that there’s nothing wrong with him. What should I do? Refuse to show them? But then they’ll think that they did hurt him and that it’s their fault and I’m trying to spare their feelings and that’ll only make things worse…”_

She was spared any further internal debate by the interruption of a quiet, pathetic, mewl coming from the bag she still had slung over her back. Opening it revealed a very pathetic looking Izaya who, having followed the conversation up to this point, was doing a very convincing job of looking sick.

“Oh you poor thing!” Said Anri sympathetically, reaching out to pat him on the head.

Izaya, who wasn’t feeling any particularly charitable feelings towards any of them right now, hissed and settled back further into the bag.

Celty fought a strong urge to punch him and explained that he was probably just a little stressed from the chase and that Anri shouldn’t take it personally _—_ to which Izaya responded with a long, drawn-out and unpleasant, guttural sound.

 

******

 

Celty had expected that upon entering the apartment she would be spared the task of giving any further explanations and was genuinely disappointed to find that not only were the three teenagers still following her anxiously but also that nearly everyone else Shinra had called that day was gathered in the living room. Shinra was happily babbling to Kadota while Walker and Erica performed a complicated series of poses pantomiming being given super powers by a magical cat _—_ much to the embarrassment of their van driver friend whose name Celty could never remember. In another corner, Shingen was recounting the many hardships he went through at the airport earlier that morning to Simon and Dennis. Celty had only just entered the room when the attention of every person in it was called to her by Shinra shouting her name and launching himself across several pieces of furniture to embrace her.

 

******

 

The shadow bag he was currently trapped in offered little protection to Izaya as Shinra’s battle cry heralded an imminent attack. The crushing embrace aimed at Celty was intercepted by Izaya, who she had used as a shield, effectively blocking Shinra and crushing Izaya in one deft movement.

[This is yours. I’m leaving. You can explain all of this yourself.] And with that Celty was back out the door.

Izaya and Shinra exchanged wounded looks as Celty stormed away, slamming the front door behind her. They had little time to dwell on this however as now the attention of every other person in the room was centered squarely on them.

Izaya, always quicker on the uptake than Shinra, remembered that he was supposed to be sick and immediately faked a coughing fit and “fainted” dramatically in Shinra’s lap. Shinra, being somewhat slower than Izaya, looked completely dumbfounded for a moment before understanding spread obviously across his face, followed by a truly pathetic performance of concern for his ailing cat.

“Oh! My cat! Uuuuuum …” He desperately searched the far reaches of his brain for a name to call what was supposed to be _his_ cat who _he_ owned and therefore had presumably named.

He settled on “I’m so glad you’re back!” rather than continuing in the clearly futile naming process. “Thank you guys so much for your help, I’ll take it from here okay!” He finished brightly, waiting for them to leave. They did not leave. Walker and Erica seemed to have committed themselves to the notion that Izaya was a magical wish granting cat right out of some anime and were refusing to leave until he was well enough to grant them their super powers. For their part the rest seemed equally determined to remain in the living room until the cat had recovered. Simon was even offering to prepare some kind of sushi for the cat to eat once it woke up. Shinra really wished that Celty hadn’t left, she was better at dealing with these things than he was. He gazed helplessly around the room for help which arrived in the form of his father suggesting loudly that since they were all there anyway they should have a little party as thanks for everyone’s help which he would host while Shinra tended to his wounded pet in the other room. Shinra couldn’t say he much liked the idea of his father hosting a party in the living room but having neither suggestions of his own to offer, nor the social skills to diffuse the situation on his own, he agreed enthusiastically and made his retreat to the guest room.

 

******

 

Once he and Shinra reached the safety of the guest room Izaya immediately “recovered” from his “fainting spell” and sat up to lecture his possibly former best friend. This lecture, which consisted entirely of angry meowing, had little impact on Shinra.

“Yes, I’m quite glad to see you too!” Shinra cried sympathetically, even trying to hug Izaya before being dissuaded by a pawfull of sharp claws. “That was so stressful! I might have to take a short nap just to recover a bit before we go back out there …”

‘Stressful for _you!?_ What the hell do you think that was for me?’ Izaya yowled incredulously.

“Shhhh, they might hear you. Anyway, as soon as you’re ready we have to go convince everyone that you’re okay so that they’ll leave. I have some important information about what’s um ... happened to you but my father knows more of the details and he’s busy distracting our guests so we’ll just have to deal with that first.”

‘What _happened_ to me? You mean what _you_ _did to me!_ And whatever you have to tell me you can tell me RIGHT NOW!’ Izaya laced his voice with menace, which would have been far more effective were it coming from a human.

“Mmmmhmmm,” said Shinra sympathetically as if he had understood anything Izaya had just said, “I think maybe give it ten or fifteen more minutes before we go back out. That seems like about enough time to treat an injured cat. Speaking of which, I might as well take a look at you to make sure your old injuries are healing okay and that there aren’t any new ones, since that’s what I said I was doing anyway.”

As it turned out one of his cuts from the other day had reopened just a bit and his paw was a little swollen from a sliver of wood that he had stepped on during the chase earlier. When they returned to the living room to present Izaya for the other’s inspection he really looked the part of the injured cat, complete with bandages and a limp. The latter insured that he was carried everywhere and both garnered much sympathy from everyone there. Erica, having noticed the buildup of dust and dirt from the day even offered to groom Izaya for which he was as first quite disgruntled but later immensely grateful.

All together the atmosphere was not unpleasant. The original distressed inquiries into Izaya’s health had turned into a pleasant hum of low conversation, Shinra had moved away and had been cornered into a conversation with his father about his love life which didn’t seem likely to end any time soon, Simon had made good on his promise of special sushi (with the help of Dennis) made just for cats, and Erica’s fingers were gently running through Izaya's fur pulling out the mats and cleaning him off with a handkerchief dipped in warm water. He was even finding it quite easy to ignore her constant attempts to solicit magical favors from him and was quite enjoying the attention.

Once Erica had finished grooming him, Izaya leapt gingerly down from her lap in search of the next thing to do. At this point Anri had pulled out a piece of string which was surprisingly enticing and much to his own bemusement Izaya found himself happily engaged in its pursuit. He was already laying on his back, paws stretched up towards the ceiling pawing playfully at the string when he realized what he was doing and by that point he had gone too far to stop. Besides, no one there knew who he was, except for Shinra, and he could always explain this away as part of his act as a normal cat. Which it was, he certainly wasn’t enjoying it or anything … Well, the constant fawning attention wasn’t so bad, but he wasn’t a cat and playing with string, or any other form of cat toy, was certainly beneath him. The sushi was also quite nice, no scraps this time, instead there was an assortment of real fish _—_ there was even a piece of fatty tuna, which he saved for last and savored for as long as he could make it last.

He noticed that he was feeling the temptation once again to lick his paws and drag them over his face, an urge that eating seemed to make much stronger. He resisted however _—_ having learned his lesson last time when his absent minded grooming had led to him coughing up an enormous hairball. Instead he returned to Erica who seemed more than happy to brush his fur back to silky smooth.

 

******

 

The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm orange glow over the living room when Anri, Mikado, and Masaomi decided to leave, Simon and Dennis had left earlier to get back to Russia Sushi, which meant that only Kadota and his gang were still celebrating when Shizuo finally arrived. Walker and Shinra had moved to the TV where they were playing video games, while Erica doted on Izaya, watched by Kadota and Togusa with amusement. Shingen, having lost his audience, was sitting on the couch berating his son for losing so often.

Once assured that the cat had been found and was fine Shizuo made a beeline for Shinra who he lifted bodily from the floor and proceeded to shake while growling about calling him in the middle of the work day and not informing him earlier that the cat was fine thus saving him the trip there. He was calmed with profuse apologies from Shinra and invited to join in the dwindling party, which he did until Celty returned and offered him a ride home. Izaya, for his part, had long since fallen asleep and therefore missed the visit from his arch enemy as well as the eventual departure of the rest of their guests.

Shinra, lacking any form of subtlety, nearly gave Izaya a heart attack when he woke him up by shouting right in his very sensitive ear that everyone was finally gone, and “wasn’t that party great” and “if only Celty hadn’t missed most of it.” In his fright Izaya managed to carve a fairly deep scratch right across Shinra’s face which, to his despair, led to even more shouting.

“What was that for? I’m _trying_ to help you!” Shinra whined as his father dabbed some antiseptic cream on the scratch.

“I wonder if you should get a shot? Izaya-kun here may not be a real cat but his scratches might carry some of the same risks, maybe even some supernatural ones considering the nature of the drug, Shinra do you feel any strange sensations? Perhaps a tingling or an ability to read minds or shapeshift?” Shingen asked, sounding more intrigued than concerned.

“No, I don’t, it just hurts! Anyway we brought you back here to help you you know, you could try being a little more grateful …” Shinra pouted.

‘Your betrayal is the only reason I need help in the first place you backstabbing hypocrite!’ Izaya pointed out in an annoyed tone.

Shingen wisely nodded his agreement to this sentiment. “Yes, I’m afraid you might have deserved that my boy. Your friend here was the unwitting and indeed unwilling participant in you experiment after all.”

“What happened to it being _your_ experiment, you were eager enough to take the credit for this earlier!” Retorted Shinra, earning his father an identical scratch across his face.

Demurred, the two sat themselves in front of Izaya, bowing and offering their almost sincere apologies, though without the usual assurances that they would never do this again.

“Now, I’m afraid that I bring a rather grim diagnosis.” Said Shingen in a more serious tone. “I’m afraid that the drug my son tested on you was in a rather early stage of development and while I still firmly believe that it is ready for human testing I admit that there are still complications that need to be addressed.”

‘Complications?’ Asked Izaya nervously.

Shingen seemed to understand because he continued. “Indeed, while we do have an antidote in the works which could reverse the physical effects of this transformation I’m afraid that it is incomplete and the longer you remain in this form the greater the risk for permanent changes-“

‘PERMANENT?’ Izaya yowled, fur bristling and claws extending ready to scratch even deeper at a single wrong word.

“Sort of, you see while the physical effects are the most obvious, and therefore most easily dealt with aspect of your transformation they are not the only ones. You may have noticed that you are developing some cat-like behaviors and tendencies, this is a phenomenon we observed in some of our previous test subjects but were never able to reverse once started. Essentially whatever changes occur in your psychology can not, at this time, be reversed _—_ making it imperative that we change you back soon if we are to preserve your human personality.”

Izaya sat in shocked silence, absorbing the implications of this diagnosis.

“But don’t worry!” Shinra added quickly, “We’re working on the antidote now and we should have it ready to go very soon. We would have it already except that each subject reacts differently to the drug and so needs to have a uniquely tailored antidote made to restore them. We also need a sample of your DNA, from before you changed, but don’t worry about that, tomorrow we can go to your apartment and look for some hair or something to use. We’ll have you back to normal long before anything too bad can happen.” He finished with a bright smile.

Coming from a man who found the idea of the apocalypse bearable as long as he had Celty this assurance hardly seemed sufficient. Not that there was anything he could do about it. As he was, Izaya was completely powerless, even if there was someone else he could turn to for this kind of assistance he had no way of communicating with them.

“On a similarly pressing note,” Started Shingen, “We have a problem of our own that will require your help in solving.”

Izaya looked up suspiciously, he had an idea about what this help might be.

“We seem to have attracted the attention of the local Yakuza, they are looking for you right now, and my son being the incompetent fool that he is has only managed to encourage their suspicion. We need you to find an explanation for your absence that involves neither my son nor the drug. You see it’s an extremely high-level company secret and I can’t have word of its existence getting out.”

Izaya hadn’t been planning on telling the truth anyway but the idea of putting himself at even more risk for their sakes had no appeal whatsoever at this point. Besides which Shinra had already made his involvement clear to Shiki so denying that much would be pointless.

“Just be thinking up a plan, we’ll do whatever we need to help you once you’re back to yourself. In the meantime just try to relax and don’t go running away again. We can’t afford the delay of having to find you again hmmm.” Said Shingen hopefully.

Izaya merely turned his back on both of them, settling back into the couch to pretend to sleep. He would think of something, but they weren’t going to like it, he would make sure of that.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes will be starting up again for me pretty soon so please excuse any late updates, I'll try to stay pretty consistant but I have to make classwork a priority. Thank you so much for reading!


	17. Chapter 17: In the Interim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shinra is seen about town talking to his cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, this is another sort of bridge into the next arc. Things are going to be wrapping up soonish here. Thank you all for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting it really means a lot to me (and my confidence) and keeps me motivated. ~ ~ ~ <3

* * *

 

Namie arrived for work promptly at 9:00, as she had every other day that week and, just like every other day, she was the only one there. She managed to wait through nearly an entire hour of paperwork before she finally came to the conclusion that she would once again be stood up by her employer. It was clear from the pristine state of the apartment that Izaya had not returned in the night and left before she got there _—_ nothing either upstairs in his bedroom nor downstairs in his office had been touched since she had left the previous night.

All things considered Namie reasoned that he owed her at least one week of paid vacation for this latest waste of her precious time. After all, he had been gone for nearly a week himself which meant that she was doing his job as well as her own all by herself. Besides, she was getting tired of telling people that she didn’t’ know where Izaya was or when he would be back. They never believed her anyway so it was just another waste of her time. Maybe he owed her two weeks just for that … By 10:00 she had reached the decision to take one week and if he wasn’t back by then she would just take another. All paid, naturally. He couldn’t exactly deny her the time off since he wasn’t there anyway.

On her way out the door Namie ran into Shinra Kishitani, who appeared to be holding a surprisingly deep conversation with a cat. When he saw her he started giving her some long and complicated explanation for why he needed to get into the apartment, none of which interested her in the slightest. She simply tuned out his babbling and handed over the key with a suggestion that he lock the door when he left, not that she cared but at least she had tried so it wouldn’t be her fault if someone did break in. Izaya deserved it for disappearing anyway.

 

******

 

‘She thinks you’re crazy, and she’s not wrong you know.’ Izaya informed Shinra as they watched his secretary leave. She was probably taking another paid vacation. Izaya didn’t really care, in fact, he was surprised she had stayed this long.

“She’s not a great secretary is she? I never understood why you hired her in the first place since she hates you. Although I guess it would be hard to find someone who doesn’t…”

‘Fuck you too Shinra.’ Izaya meowed dryly.

“Well, let’s go in!” Shinra proceeded cheerily, ignoring Izaya’s comment.

As soon as they were in the door Izaya squirmed out of Shinra’s arms, landing with a light thud on the hard wood floors. God he wanted to run his claws over those floors, to leave long gashes in the smooth wood. He resisted _—_ remembering just in time that this was _his_ floor. He would have to remember to scratch up some of Shinra’s furniture later…

 

They headed straight for the upstairs bathroom, Izaya leading the way, having decided that a comb would be the most likely place to find viable DNA. Shingen had explained that hair and nails would be the easiest things to extract DNA from aside from a fresh sample of blood of course, which they didn’t have. While Shinra went in to look for stray hairs Izaya wandered around his apartment, checking up on his things and generally inspecting the damage done in his absence. There was surprisingly little out of place. Namie never came up here unless she had to and it seemed that no one else had either ... He remembered the care that he had so admired Shiki’s men taking when they searched Shinra’s apartment. Hopefully Namie’s presence that week had dissuaded them from going through his files at least, all of his computers were set to erase their hard drives if someone tried to access them without the password but there were still some hard copies. He would have to booby trap them as well when he was finally turned back. Thinking of which, since Shiki’s men had stolen his clothing when he did turn back he would have nothing to wear. Of course he could always borrow something of Shinra’s but he doubted that the doctor owned more than the one outfit he always wore and the idea of walking around in matching lab coats didn’t have any appeal.

 

When Shinra returned triumphantly from his hair search Izaya was pacing in front of the wardrobe, meowing loudly.

“Huh? In there? But I already got some hair from your comb, why would we need to search the wardrobe?”

Izaya sighed, Shinra really was dense. ‘I need something to wear when you change me back,’ Izaya explained slowly, pawing at the door to illustrate his point.

“Open the door for you?” Asked Shinra, still puzzled.

‘Yes, open the door,’ Izaya said, pronouncing each word carefully as if he were speaking to a toddler.

Shinra obliged and the second the door was open Izaya jumped in and started batting at the hem of the shirt he wanted.

“I don’t understand, is there more hair on that shirt or something?” Shinra inquired obtusely, even leaning in to examine it more closely.

‘No, you moron I want you to take this shirt and bring it back with you. I will also need a pair of pants, some underwear and preferably this hoodie since you ruined my coat.’ Izaya explained, patiently indicating each item as he mentioned it.

“Uuuuum, you do know that none of those will fit you right now don’t you?”

Izaya nearly scratched him again. He settled instead on a long deadpan stare which he maintained until Shinra figured it out.

“But you know now that you mention it I do remember I still have your clothes that you were wearing before since they weren’t part of the transformation … OH!” He snapped his fingers like the dramatic fool that he was. “You want me to bring a change of clothes for when we change you back! Indeed it wouldn’t do at all to have Celty have to see you naked! I wonder if I’d be jealous … Probably, you know you always were popular in schoo-” This time Izaya did scratch him.

As soon as the clothes and hair were safely tucked away in Shinra’s bag they left, Shinra having been dissuaded from searching further “just in case” by a warning swipe from Izaya.

 

******

 

In a horribly transparent effort to win back the trust of his so called “best friend” and therefore stave off any future punishment Shinra suggested that they stop at Russia Sushi on the way home. He even promised Izaya his own plate of otoro. Izaya was not one to be swayed by presents or flattery but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t allow them. It wouldn’t change his mind about punishing Shinra later as he so clearly hoped.

“See, no need to be grumpy, we’re still friends after all and I’m willing to forgive you for scratching me … so we’re okay right, no hard feelings?” Shinra rambled nervously as Simon brought their food.

“You fight with cat? No good, but sushi make all better now, friendship and healing. Eat! Enjoy!” Simon cried enthusiastically, apparently seeing nothing wrong with a grown man talking to his cat _—_ with whom he was apparently on a lunch date.

Izaya said nothing to either of them, preferring to start in on his meal instead, which Shinra mistakenly took to mean that he was forgiven.

The sushi itself was sublime. Izaya had loved otoro before his transformation but now it was as though every flavor was that much more intense. Just like with smell and hearing his sense of taste had increased in sensitivity to the point where every subtle flavor was enhanced tenfold. He was purring before he knew it, happily ignoring everything to dedicate his full attention to his meal. Shinra was taking advantage of this lull to get in some minor cuddling, which Izaya allowed for the moment. Shinra babbled to Izaya happily, believing himself forgiven, as Izaya sat in his lap, a purr rumbling deep in his chest, and plotting his revenge. There were so many different ways he could make his “best friend” suffer. He might even be able to persuade Celty to help…

* * *

 


	18. On the Mistreatment of In-Laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shinra and Shingen fail to cure the cat disease for which they are responsible, leading to a series of unfortunate events...and in which there are definitely not aliens...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to KillerKookaburra666 for editing this and for your input on this chapter :)

* * *

 

Celty was looking at him again. She had no eyes of course but he could feel her stare like a cold breeze settling somewhere on his neck and causing a creeping sensation to ripple down his spine. They had been sitting side by side _—_ occasionally exchanging awkward sideways glances with each other before returning their attention to the television in front of them _—_ for the past hour. Shinra and his father had long since retreated to the spare room turned make-shift lab to develop the drug that would return Izaya to his normal human self. Having been assured that since Shingen technically had the drug already completely designed and partially made, it would only be a matter of the few minutes it would take to add the DNA sample before they were finished, Izaya was feeling understandably nervous. Celty also seemed quite on edge but it was impossible to tell whether that was due to the long wait or if it was the alien conspiracy theorist who had been describing the secret hostile invasion that he believed had already taken place across Japan. He was quite charismatic for a conspiracy nut and he was beginning to make a worrying amount of sense to both of them.

Izaya finally took the initiative and pressed his paw experimentally to the T.V. remote, causing the channels to cycle rapidly and the volume to drop. The channel it finally settled on seemed to be some sort of competition involving the alleged psychic abilities of middle-school-aged children. Celty shuddered momentarily then turned to Izaya, flashing her PDA.

[That’s probably for the best … Was that guy starting to get to you too?]

Izaya opted for a sympathetic nod and meow, choosing to forgo mentioning that it was her own creepy aura that had been “getting to him.”

[It’s so creepy to think that there could be aliens here in Japan that we don’t even know about.]

‘Says the ancient headless death fairy…’ Izaya muttered sarcastically.

[You look worried. Is it the aliens? I’d be worried too but Shinra says that I’d probably be able to tell if someone really wasn’t human because I have heightened senses]

[I don’t know if I believe him but it’s a comforting thought…]

Izaya shook his head. ‘No I’m not terribly worried about the imminent alien orchestrated apocalypse that is _definitely_ happening right now. Even if there were an alien invasion in progress right now, I doubt that I would have much to worry about considering the fact that I am, at the moment, a cat and according to that _“expert”_ the aliens among us are only interested in conquering the minds and bodies of humans. I am however very concerned with the progress being made on my cure _—_ or rather, the lack thereof.’ He ranted testily, pacing on the coffee table in front of Celty as if he were giving a lecture.

Of course none of this made any sense to her, but that wasn’t so different from any other conversation they’d had in the past. In the end it was a pointed glance at the nearest clock that finally conveyed Izaya’s message of impatience. Being just as eager for Izaya to leave as he was, Celty agreed that Shinra and his father should have finished long before now.

[Maybe they had some technical difficulties and are just taking a bit longer than they thought they would…]

Izaya raised an eyebrow, which was quite the feat considering his feline features.

[Yeah, more likely they finished ages ago and are just screwing around now.]

[I’ll go check on them.]

She left the room with the promise of a storm brewing around her, ready to break out at a single wrong word.

As it so happened Shinra was the master of wrong words, capable of calling forth storms of the most epic proportions without any effort at all. Which is exactly what he did. When Celty entered the room she was greeted with rapturous applause and an attempted loving embrace from her thoroughly inebriated roommate. It seemed that he and his useless father had long since abandoned their work in favor of discussing the merits of further experimentation on Izaya over a bottle of fine vintage wine. Shingen, who by this point was being suspended at the ankle by a tangle of black shadows, desperately tried to reason with the furious Dullahan. He explained that having reached an impasse in their work they had decided to settle down and brainstorm a solution, wine had been introduced at some point and before either one of them knew it they had “veered slightly off topic.” Needless to say this explanation did not satisfy nor did it serve to calm her wrath.

 

******

 

From his position huddled on the couch, holding a mug of coffee in one hand and a bag of ice to his temple, Shinra looked like a stock photo representing bad decisions. Shingen was no better. He was hobbling back from the kitchen with an exaggerated limp and his own mug of coffee, whining about the mistreatment of fathers-in-law. Celty stood like a judge in front of the two, glaring down with a palpable force and emitting enough black smoke to coat the entire living room floor.

Izaya would have found the whole scene rather amusing were he not so engulfed in his own feelings of anger and disappointment. Shinra had only been spared a horrible mauling by the eventual mercy of Celty. Shingen had been less fortunate. Lacking the supernatural protection that had been afforded to his son, Shingen had suffered several long gashes to his legs as well as one very deep bite before Izaya was reluctantly pried off. Shingen took a seat beside his son and proceeded to present his defense…

“Well you see, there was a small complication, the main problem is that the whole premise of my approach to creating an antidote for _this specific drug_ was wrong.” Shingen explained in a tone that would have been better suited to reporting the weather than giving potentially catastrophic news to his patient.

‘That’s what you call a _small_ complication?’ Izaya asked incredulously.

Celty mirrored his sentiment, [That sounds like more of a problem than you said it was.]

“Well, it really is a subtle difference in approach, you see-” he continued quickly sensing an interruption, “when I made the original drug it was with the idea that the properties of the organism it was created from could be adapted and added to a human host via a sort of symbiotic relationship- bear with me this is relevant,” he assured again. “The idea was that once the host was bonded with the organism its ability to change its form to mirror another organism using a DNA sample would become a shared trait. Of course because they are still technically two beings the organism would need a sample of DNA that it would remember as the host’s own DNA which would give it a template to refer to when returning the host to their original form.”

‘Which means what for me?’ Asked Izaya, only just following the rather poor explanation Shingen was giving.

“So, plan A-” he continued, ignoring Izaya entirely, “-had been that once the organism was properly bonded to its host a catalyzing agent would be introduced that would tell the organism to return its host to the form indicated by its ‘default’ template. The problem here is that it seems the drug you were given was contaminated, or else improperly formulated. It should have set your own DNA as the default template and then upon introduction to a new DNA sample and the proper catalyst you would transform into whatever that DNA sample was from. This would be easily reversed by simply injecting the 'reverse catalyzing agent' I have prepared, as well as some DNA from before your transformation as a safety net of sorts. But it seems that the first process was done in reverse, your default template was set as a random cat DNA sample and consequently the second sample, your own DNA, would be read as the template for a temporary transformation. In theory I can turn you back but it would be a temporary transformation which would wear off with time or a catalyst. In order to truly ‘cure’ you I need to find a way to reset that first template. Of course you’ll never truly be free of this as the bond between the organism and yourself is a permanent one but once that default template is reset any future transformations should be temporary and entirely voluntary.” He finished, clearly excited at the prospect.

‘There will be no future transformations. Now if you have this temporary treatment made why didn’t you administer it right away instead of sitting around for an hour while I was stuck as a cat?!’ His words may have been unintelligible but their meaning was perfectly clear.

“Well, like I said before we just got a bit sidetracked…”

Izaya sighed, he couldn’t even summon the energy to scratch him again. ‘Just give me the temporary treatment please, I don’t care that it isn’t permanent yet, any amount of time not spent as a tiny helpless cat would be appreciated.’

Shinra nodded meekly and stretched out a tentative hand to pick up Izaya, who did not in fact attack him this time, though he had considered it.

 

******

 

The transformation process was shorter this time. Shingen informed them that this was probably a sign that Izaya was adapting to the bond between the organism and himself and that it would probably become progressively shorter with each subsequent transformation. By 2:00 he was back to his usual form and suffering only a slight headache and mild fatigue, side effects brought about more by the stress of the morning’s ordeals than from the transformation itself. He stretched, feeling each individual joint pop. He felt as though he had been compressed rather than transformed, a feeling similar to the after effects of sitting in a tight spot for five days.

“How are you feeling? Any side effects? Headache? Nausea? Perhaps a sense of loss or perhaps the uncontrollable urge to chase mice?” Shingen immediately began pestering Izaya.

“Do you feel like running some tests?” Shinra inquired at the same time.

“Do you feel like dying horribly?” Izaya asked sweetly, his own imitation of bedside manor immensely superior to that of either doctor in spite of the threat.

“Okay, okay, we’ll save that for later- or never!” Shinra added, noticing the glint in Izaya’s eyes that promised pain if he so much as suggested tests or experimentation again.

“I’m fine, a little tired, but that’s your fault. How long will this last?” He asked, turning to Shingen.

“Well, as long as nothing triggers your reversion I would say at least one day. Perhaps a little less if you strain yourself. I’m afraid that’s the best we can do until we find a permanent solution” Shingen replied, almost managing to look sincerely apologetic.

“It’s better than I was expecting. Okay, I need a computer, my phone, and a cup of coffee.” He said, turning back to Shinra expectantly.

“… What?” Shinra looked as bemused as ever, Izaya’s simple requests clearly beyond his ability to comprehend.

“Unless you _want_ to be shot by ‘representatives of the Awakusu family’” He suggested with a smirk.

Shinra scurried off to comply, clearly intent on survival…

* * *

 


	19. Chapter 19: The Observation of a Man Who is Clearly Far Too Concerned With his Cat and Surprisingly Disinterested in the Fate of His Friend…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dr. Kishitani loses his cat far more often than the man following him deems entirely necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a longer one (about 4x longer than my longest so far) this is mainly due to the fact that it takes place over a span of time about equivalent to all of its preceding chapters. The timeline does get a little complicated but I tried to make it as clear as I could, if you get confused I will answer any questions in the comments.
> 
> Thank you again to KillerKookaburra666 for editing this, basically in real time, and for putting up with my terrible typing~~

* * *

 

~~~Five Days Ago~~~

 

“Here’s the information we have so far,” the man said as he “handed” Smirnov a briefcase, by means of leaving it on the empty seat beside himself on the train, all the while addressing the empty space in front of him rather than the man seated directly behind him. Personally Smirnov thought the whole thing would have been less conspicuous if they had simply met and talked  _to_  each other. The man was wearing a trench coat and sunglasses for heaven’s sake, talking to himself was hardly helping…

“We have reason to believe that he might have had something to do with the disappearance of the information broker the chief was supposed to meet with this morning. At any rate, he was the last known person to have seen the guy before he disappeared. His name is Shinra Kishitani, his address and other particulars are in the file. Don’t interfere with him, just watch and see if you can find out what happened to the informant, if he killed him or kidnapped him or whatever. Apparently they’re good friends but from what I’ve heard of Orihara that’s not necessarily any reason to believe the doctor didn’t kill him.”

“It seems a bit soon to declare him missing,” Smirnov observed.

“Yeah, well, originally we were gonna have you trail the info broker but he’s nowhere to be found, even his secretary doesn’t know where he is or why he missed his appointment. The chief thinks he might have been hired to spy on us, Yakuza shit, anyway this doctor was the last person to see him ... alive.” He added melodramatically.

“Why would he want to kill his friend?” Asked Smirnov. It wasn’t that he doubted his colleague, he had seen plenty of people kill their closest friends and even family members before, it was rather that knowing the motive would help if they were to assume that Dr. Kishitani had indeed killed off his apparent best friend.

“Well, this guy, Orihara, isn’t the nicest guy. I guess a lot of people want him dead, mostly for personal reasons-” He was cut off at this point as the train reached his stop. “Anyway the rest is in the file.”

He departed, leaving Smirnov alone and inconveniently far away from the briefcase that he was supposed to retrieve _—_ a task which, in his expert opinion, would be nearly impossible to do in a way that didn’t make him look like either a drug trafficker or a petty thief. Fortunately one of his fellow commuters pointed out to him that the man sitting in front of him had forgotten his briefcase which afforded Smirnov the perfect opportunity. Grabbing the case, he leapt off the train several stops before his own in order to “return” it, then walked the rest of the way to the Kishitani residence to begin his observations.

 

~~~Yesterday~~~

 

Smirnov had been informed that the person he had been instructed to observe was a devious murder suspect and friend of the infamous information broker that his organization was currently looking for. As far as he could tell from his week following the man though he seemed, at best, your averagely competent fool and, at worst, a complete lunatic. Either way he was hardly what Smirnov would call dangerous, or devious or, for that matter, intelligent…

 

~~~Also Five Days Ago~~~

 

“Over there! Celty quick stop!” Shinra shouted for what felt like the thousandth time since they left in search of his new cat/best friend.

[That’s a calico, it looks even less like Izaya than the last one!]

“Oh right, sorry ... Wait, over there! What about that one?!”

[That’s a tabby...]

“Yeah but it looked black and white and kinda like him so...”

[We’re moving on. Try to pay more attention.]

“Yes I will, but it’s so hard when you’re so close in my arms with your- oof”

She stopped and shoved him off of Shooter with a quick jab from her elbow.

[Shut up! You can’t go on about those kinds of things in public!]

“Ah but Celty my love for you knows no boundaries, either societally drawn or physically obstructing I’ll- ow! Ow! OW! Celty stop punching me!”

 

******

 

_Kishitani Observation Day One:_

_5:00 pm. Dr. Kishitani has left with his roommate in search of his lost cat. No mention of Orihara._

_5:30 pm Dr. Kishitani is being violently assaulted by his roommate._

_7:30 pm. It has started to rain. The doctor is continuing his search in spite of the weather._

_8:00 pm. Dr. Kishitani has given up in his search and is returning to his apartment._

 

_Note to self: I am starting to doubt the veracity of the report I was given. I suspect his intelligence has been greatly exaggerated, or else he has been alerted to my presence and has adopted a false persona in an attempt to divert my suspicion..._

 

 

~~~Four Days Ago~~~

 

“Pleeeeease Celty? I know we didn’t find him yesterday but he was probably just hiding because of the rain. Think about it, he’s been out there in that storm aaaaaall niiiiiight!” Shinra flailed his arms wildly to illustrate his point, a gesture missed entirely by Celty who had locked herself in her room hours ago.

[It’s not as if he doesn’t deserve it.] Celty commented dryly via text message.

“Celty! How cruel! This is not the kindhearted and generous woman I’ve known and loved all these years! What happened my love? Is it because I haven’t been kissing you enou- oof.” He landed on the floor with a thump, having been knocked over by the force of Celty opening her door in his face.

[Fine! We’ll go, just stop talking already!]

 

******

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Two:_

_Dr. Kishitani has once again set out in search of his cat._

 

Smirnov had been tailing them since they left their apartment however Dr. Kishitani had yet to do anything even remotely suspicious. That’s not to say that his behavior wasn’t odd. While he did seem almost abnormally concerned with his cat, he lacked any concern whatsoever for his missing “best friend.”

 

******

 

It was just past midday when the doctor was reunited with his cat, his roommate having used some strange shadow-like substance to capture the poor animal as it desperately fled for its life.

They were now back at Dr. Kishitani’s apartment with Smirnov observing everything from a small monitor on the balcony below the doctor's own.

 

******

 

“You really scared me running away like that! You’re lucky Celty agreed to help me find you...” The doctor admonished his cat with a dramatic sigh.

It meowed, which he seemed to interpret as a response because he continued, “Hey now, I was really worried you know. Why did you leave in the first place? It’s not like you can do anything like this and you need me to change you back.”

Back into what, Smirnov didn’t want to know.

The cat seemed to share this sentiment because it made a long unhappy guttural sound and attempted a halfhearted swipe at the doctor’s face.

“You should have more faith in me, I am your only friend after all.”

Harsh, but the cat didn’t seem to care _—_ why  _would_ it, since it was a cat? This fool was beginning to have a negative effect on Smirnov’s own intelligence...

 

******

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Two cont._

_The doctor has just been visited by a man calling himself “Shiki.” He is clearly Yakuza and has been inquiring into  Orihara’s whereabouts. The doctor has denied all knowledge of his friend’s disappearance however, he is a terrible liar. He remains seemingly oblivious to the danger this man poses to him and his warnings against deception._

 

~~~Three Days Ago~~~

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Three:_

_Last night several men, presumably hired by Mr. Shiki broke into Dr. Kishitani’s apartment. The doctor was away at the time and seems to be unaware of this fact. The men left carrying what appeared to be a pile of bloody clothing (Orihara’s?). They took nothing else._

 

******

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Three cont.:_

_Dr. Kishitani has once again lost his cat. He has spent the majority of the morning searching his apartment for it. His roommate seems unaffected by his distress. He remains unaware of last night’s break in and has not yet noticed the missing clothing..._

 

******

 

Shinra had indeed spent a large portion of his morning looking for Izaya. It was around midday when he finally noticed a small furry shape hiding in the shadows under his bed. Assuming Izaya was angry with him again for whatever reason, he crouched by the bed, cooing and waving various treats enticingly in an effort to lure him out from his hiding place.

This effort proved unsuccessful and when Celty came to check on him an hour later it was only to find him lying flat on his stomach, arms stretched out, reaching for the fluffy figure that remained stubbornly just out of reach.

“Come on Izaya, you can’t stay mad all day! Aren’t you hungry? Please come out, I’m your best friend, you can talk to me!”

Celty almost felt bad for Izaya, at least when she wanted to escape Shinra’s pestering she had a door that she could lock. Reluctantly she sent out a string of shadows to pull Izaya from his hiding place, only to discover that the thing Shinra had spent his morning conversing with was not, in fact, his friend but rather a very large dust bunny...

...

[You were supposed to clean the apartment last week.] She admonished, showing him the definitely more than a week old ball of dust.

 

~~~Two Days Ago~~~

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Four:_

_4:00 am. Dr. Kishitani (sr.) has just arrived. I have not been able to ascertain the reason for his visit as Dr. Kishitani (jr.) greeted him in the hallway, however from the small portion of their conversation that I could hear I believe it has something to do with Dr. Kishitani (sr.)’s research at Nebula..._

 

******

 

The doctor had managed, yet again, to lose his cat. Smirnov was beginning to suspect that the poor animal was better off on the streets than here, he was even envying its freedom as he heard Dr. Kishitani making a third frantic phone call. At this rate he would have half the city engaged in a search for his lost cat. The older Kishitani was making no effort to calm his son nor was he joining in the search though he had expressed his sympathy many times. This left damage control entirely up to the doctor’s unfortunate roommate, a task that Smirnov didn’t envy. She had already apologized numerous times, each time assuring the doctor that she was perfectly capable of finding his cat on her own and imploring him to please stop calling everyone they knew to shout at them.

 

******

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Four cont.:_

_There are now at least six people in the doctor’s apartment right now. All of them seem to be here out of concern for the missing cat. I find it strange that no such effort has been made for the sake of Orihara, considering that all of the people currently present are also acquaintances of his._

 

******

 

_The doctor’s roommate has just returned, bringing with her three more people and the cat. It is relatively unharmed and the doctor is currently holding some sort of party in its honor._

 

A surprising number of people seemed to have been involved in the retrieval of Dr. Kishitani’s cat. So many, in fact, that it made the news. Smirnov watched as the poor animal was chased down by an alarmingly large swarm of people. Ultimately he was captured by the doctor’s roommate who, it seemed, was some sort of urban legend around here. Smirnov couldn’t help but feel sorry for this cat, it looked like it had been through quite an ordeal...

 

******

 

It was getting late by the time all of their guests left. Shinra and his father were left to clean the apartment as they waited for Celty’s return. Izaya was asleep on the couch and had been for a while now. He looked much better than he had when Celty had first brought him back, his fur was sleek from Erica’s grooming and he seemed almost content. This lasted right up until the moment Shinra decided to wake him. He found himself rewarded for this action with a large scratch across the face and a startled glare.

 

***** 

 

On the balcony below Smirnov chuckled quietly, feeling that the doctor had richly deserved that. What followed this however was one of the most baffling and bizarre conversations Smirnov had ever heard.

After treating his son’s wound the older Dr. Kishitani proceed to give the cat a formal diagnosis and then apologized for using it to test out his newest experimental drug. He informed the cat that the effects of this drug were permanent but that he was working on a cure. The cat seemed quite distressed by this diagnosis but that could also have just been its reaction to Dr. Kishitani. Either way the whole scene was quite surreal. The nature of their conversation had been bizarre to such an extent that Smirnov found himself wondering, not for the first time, if it were not all some kind of elaborate prank.

 

******

 

“We seem to have attracted the attention of the local Yakuza, they are looking for you right now, and my son being the incompetent fool that he is has only managed to encourage their suspicion. We need you to find an explanation for your absence that involves neither my son nor the drug. You see it’s an extremely high level company secret and I can’t have word of its existence getting out,” Shingen Kishitani explained ... to the cat.

 ...

There was a pause as they waited for a response, which didn’t come.

“Just be thinking up a plan, we’ll do whatever we need to help you once you’re back to yourself. In the meantime just try to relax and don’t go running away again. We can’t afford the delay of having to find you again hmmm.”

Once again the cat did not respond. It seemed to have fallen asleep. Both doctors looked at each other.

“Does that mean yes?” Asked the younger. His father simply shrugged and left the room.

By this point Smirnov was almost used to the way the doctor talked to his cat like it was a person but he was finding it hard to accept that his father had seriously just enlisted its help in dealing with the Yakuza....

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Four cont._

_It seems that Dr, Kishitani (sr.) used his son’s cat to test out some sort of experimental drug. Apparently it is one of Nebula’s top secrets. This might explain the doctor’s prioritization of its retrieval._

 

He left out the crazier parts of their conversation, they would only make it appear to the higher-ups as though Smirnov himself had lost his mind...

 

~~~Yesterday~~~

 

The doctor left at 10:00 the next morning, taking his cat with him, and boarded the first train to Shinjuku. Smirnov was initially unable to follow them as the train car they boarded was full which forced him to take the one behind it. It was because of this that he did not notice them disembarking until the train had already started to move again. By the time he had caught up with them again they were already leaving Orihara’s apartment. Even then it was only by chance that he found them at all.

Frustratingly there was no obvious indication as to why they had visited the apartment in the first place. Smirnov already knew that Orihara was not there, his colleagues had searched the place quite thoroughly...

 

_Kishitani Observation, Day Five:_

_10:00 am The doctor left on a train for Shinjuku. He visited Orihara’s apartment but I was unable to follow him in or determine the reason for his visit._

 

The return trip went much better for Smirnov. Once back in Ikebukuro the doctor decided to take his cat out for lunch, over which he apologized again for using it in his father’s experiment. While he was busy having a deep conversation with his cat Smirnov was able to search through the bag the doctor had brought with him from Orihara’s apartment. He was a bit confused and dismayed to find that all it contained was a change of clothing and an envelope containing what appeared to be hair.

The most reasonable explanation for the clothing would be that Dr. Kishitani was hiding his friend somewhere, obviously not his apartment as someone would have noticed, however this theory was dashed when the doctor made no other stops on his way home. Smirnov didn’t dare even venture a guess as to the purpose for the hair...

 

~~~A Few Hours Later~~~

 

“You’re not going to believe this.”

Smirnov didn’t believe it himself, they had searched that apartment, as had the Yakuza and there had been no sign of Orihara entering or leaving it since his original meeting with the doctor five days ago.

 _“Orihara came back?”_ asked the Chief.

“No sir, I’m saying he’s been here the whole time, I-” He was cut off as an ungodly sound, which he desperately hoped was being caused by interference, erupted from his phone.

 _“You realize of course that that apartment has been searched by_ my own _men, right?”_  the Chief asked dangerously.

“Yes, I do realize that, but he  _is_  there now and he didn’t enter through any door or window, he came out of the guest room ... I have it on camera sir, the doctor got home then he and his father went to the back room, about an hour later the doctor’s roommate went back and they had some sort of fight. About ten minutes after that they returned to the living room where they, um talked to their cat-”

_“Their cat?”_

“... yes I know it sounds crazy but this guy  _is_ crazy. Anyway after that the doctor went back into the guest room and when he came back Orihara was with him.”

_“And did you uh ... hear what they said to this ... cat?”_

“No I wasn’t able to hear much of their conversation, something about drugging the cat, the roommate was pretty upset about it.

_“Alright, and what is Orihara doing now?”_

“Right now? He’s sitting on the couch with the doctor’s laptop, he has been for a while now. They aren’t talking and the screen is facing away from my camera...”

 _“Okay, your job is done. Move out, I’ll handle it from here.”_  Smirnov knew what that meant.

“Right, I understand.”

He ended the call and proceeded immediately to pack his belongings and erase all signs of his presence in the apartment. Ten minutes later he was gone without a trace.

 

~~~Present Day~~~

 

Izaya was getting tired of being kidnapped. While it was a hobby he occasionally indulged in he really preferred for things to happen on his own terms. It was no fun when he was actually in danger...

 

******

 

The men had come only a few hours after Izaya was returned to his normal human self. He had been immensely enjoying his opposable thumbs and Shinra had been sitting quietly, or as quietly as he could, on the other sofa while Izaya used his laptop to check up on current affairs. Celty had long since left to fetch some sushi and to thank Simon and Dennis for their help the other day. Fortunately for everyone Shingen had decided to go sleep off the hangover he’d given himself which left Izaya in relative peace.

 

As far as Izaya could tell his business was practically in shambles. There really was only so much that Namie could, or would, do to help his many clients. It seemed that news of his disappearance had spread fast, in spite of Shiki’s best efforts. Izaya simply had too widespread of a presence, both online and in person for his absence to go unnoticed. He decided reluctantly that the first and most important line of business would be reassuring Shiki of Shinra’s innocence in his murder.

 

“Okay Shinra, here’s the plan; I’ve been here nearly the whole time.”

“But, I told Shiki-san that you weren’t,” Shinra protested immediately.

“Yes, because I asked you not to tell anyone I was here. I was stabbed with a rusty nail and got a nasty infection which you were treating. Not wishing it to be widely known that I was ill, and therefore vulnerable, I asked you to keep this a secret until I was well again.”

“But they searched the apartment-”

“-and found my bloody clothes, I know. That night my fever rose and you had Celty take me to the hospital, you were planning on staying with me there but you were called away suddenly and by the time you were done visiting hours were over so you were unable to pick me up until the next day. I’ve been staying here this whole time. Yesterday you went to my apartment to get me a change of clothes, Namie can confirm this, because today I am finally well enough to be out of bed.”

“Okay, I’ll call him now-”

“No, Shinra,  _I’ll_  call him now. You’re so pathetically bad at lying a child could see through you. Oh, but you will be telling him that I am still suffering some after effects of the infection and will need to be treated regularly for a while.”

“You will?” Shinra asked, looking confused as if he really thought Izaya was suffering some kind of infection and simply hadn’t told anyone.

Izaya sighed. “Yes because in just under 24 hours, unless I receive another treatment I will turn back into a cat _—_ we will not however, be telling Shiki that.”

“Right. So you’ll make the call?”

“Exactly. He’ll probably want to speak in person, probably tomorrow morning, I’ll have him meet us here. Just don’t say anything except what I’ve told you to say...”

 

******

 

Shiki had indeed insisted on meeting in person. Izaya had given him a very brief account of why he’d been absent, he mentioned the nail and that he was ill but recovering and offered to give a full detailed account the next day.

 

Izaya then decided that the most productive use of their time waiting for Celty to return would be to have Shinra practice “his lines” for tomorrow. This turned out to be a very good idea as Shinra clearly needed the practice. His recital was almost believable by the time they heard footsteps in the hall outside the front door.

 

“My darling Celty must have returned! I should go open the door for her, I’m sure she’ll need help carrying everything!” Shinra bounced up immediately, glad of the opportunity to take a break.

 

It was not Celty at the door, but rather a fairly large group of fairly large people led by a man who looked quite surprised to have the door opened before he could knock it down. The struggle that followed was short. Had anyone else answered the door they might have taken advantage of their attacker’s initial surprise, thus gaining the upper hand for at least long enough to close the door and lock it. As it was, Shinra simply stood there, smile fading from his face, as he slowly registered that none of the people standing before him were Celty...

 

******

 

Now they were laying on the floor of what seemed to be a warehouse, tied up and far more helpless than Izaya would normally like to be in such a situation. He took stock of his resources. Shinra would be of no use even if he weren’t still unconscious. His knife was no doubt with his other clothes in the Awakusu headquarters. He was unarmed and it was unlikely anyone would know where to find them. That left information. He hoped that was all these people wanted. He would be perfectly willing to tell them just about anything if it meant getting away before he turned back into the world’s smallest, fluffiest, and most helpless cat...

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is confused not everything in this chapter is from Smirnov's point of view so he is not necessarily aware of every event that takes place in it. He is also, for the moment, unaware of Izaya's transformation. Also for anyone confused about how Smirnov is "hearing" some of the things Celty is saying but not all of them- Shinra sometimes reads Celty's messages out loud before answering them.


	20. Chapter 20: Between the hours of 7 and 8 pm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief preview of upcoming events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a chapter, just the introduction to the next chapter/ arc, which I will be uploading very soon!

* * *

 

~~~The Apartment of a Certain Underground Doctor, Ikebukuro: 7 pm ~~~

 

“-and just as I was about to take down the third man, two of his companions held me down and their combined strength allowed him to knock me unconscious!” Shingen explained, wildly gesturing to the wreckage surrounding him. “Alas poor Shinra did not fare so well as he was taken by surprise! For my own part I was hampered by the wet tiles, I’d just finished showering, and was therefore unable to prevent my son’s capture.”

 

~~~Three Blocks Away: also 7 pm~~~

 

“I have some news concerning Orihara-”

_..._

“You have?”

_..._

“I see, so shall we exchange stories?”

_..._

“I’ll meet you there.”

 

~~~A Busy Intersection, Ikebukuro: 7:26 pm~~~

 

A familiar black bike sped past Kuzuhara at at least twice the legal limit.

_Damn monster still has to obey the law, just like everyone else..._

 

~~~Trailing Hopelessly Behind Said Black Rider: 7:27 pm~~~

 

“Celty-kun wait! You’re forgetting something very important aren’t you? Your poor father in law wants to help too!” Shingen called as he ran headfirst into his fourth, and most unfortunate, collision with an innocent bystander.

“What the hell? WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” Shouted Shizuo Heiwajima, offering a hand to his younger brother who had just been knocked to the ground...

 

~~~ Probably a Warehouse, ??: ??~~~

 

The door opened on a scene none of the men present would have expected given their current situation.

“Can I help you gentlemen?” Izaya asked, as casually as if he were not lying on the floor, thoroughly tangled in several feet of white thread...

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I said I wouldn't leave this so long without updating anymore but I have a good reason! I have spent the last month-and-a-half severely concussed and have only recently recovered enough to get back to doing things like writing and participating in life in general. I have the next chapter mostly written so as soon as its edited I will be posting it! Sorry that this chapter is so short, I meant to post it at the same time as the next chapter but I feel like I need to post something after such a long wait.  
> We're nearing the end but don't worry there are still several chapters to go and I won't be abandoning this story I promise!


	21. Chapter 21: Hours Elaborated Upon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shingen unwittingly causes chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updated after promising to update, I know, I suck. I will try to be more consistent from now on.

* * *

  

~~~A Trashed Apartment in Ikebukuro~~~

 

Celty stared incredulously at the scene that greeted her upon her return home. While it was true that the apartment was a mess there was hardly any evidence that a fight of the magnitude Shingen was describing had taken place...

 

This was because it hadn’t. While Shinra and Izaya valiantly fought for their lives and freedom Shingen had been passed out in the guest room and had really only noticed his son’s absence when Celty came home and pointed it out to him. Not wishing to be punished by the furious Dullahan for his negligence, Shingen had woven the elaborate tale of a grand fight to account for the massive black eye currently adorning his face _—_ visible even with the gas mask _—_ as well as the fact that he had no idea what had happened to his son.

 

Celty regarded her presumptive father in law _—_ observing that his bruise, or what was visible of it around the gas mask, was the exact shape and size of the bathroom doorknob as well as the trail of wet footprints leading from the shower to the doorway where she’d found him lying unconscious, and decided that she’d rather not know. She had more important questions anyway.

 

[I don’t believe you-]

“Celty-kun-”

[-but that doesn’t matter right now, just tell me who took them, and where they went.]

“Well, I really couldn’t tell you, like I said, I was knocked out ... I guess they looked American but apart from that I really couldn’t say...”

Shingen scratched the back of his head nervously, slowly becoming aware of the fact that his towel was slipping.

[Go put some clothes on!] Celty shoved her PDA in his face, coming to the same horrific realization.

 

As soon as he was out of sight she let the panic that had been creeping up on her take hold. She frantically searched the room for any clues left by Shinra’s kidnappers. Then she noticed the laptop Izaya had been working on when she left. She quickly logged in to find it open on a phone tracking program. Since she didn’t recognize the account she assumed it must be for one of Izaya’s phones; he must have pulled up the page when he realized what was happening. Snatching the laptop, Celty blew past Shingen, slamming him into the wall in her haste to leave the apartment.

 

~~~On a Street Corner Three Blocks Away~~~

 

“I’ll meet you there.” Akabayashi hung up his phone and returned it to his pocket. As he turned to leave, however, he found himself being violently assaulted by a soaking wet and half-naked man in a gas mask.

 

“Ceeeeeeltyyy-kuuuun! You forgot to bring- oof!” Shingen was abruptly cut off as his face collided with the very solid chest of the man in front of him.

“Can I help you?” Akabayashi asked, torn between the twin desires to laugh at or, possibly, punch this man.

After allowing himself one small chuckle he settled for helping the man to his feet.

“Ah, I must apologize! In my haste I neglected to watch the road ahead of me!”

“Is that the black rider you’re chasing?” Akabayashi asked, wondering how this man expected to catch up to a supernatural motorcyclist _on foot._

“Ah, well, you see that person- rather that is to say I am the father in law of– or soon to be father in law anyway, of that woman and she has set off on a rescue mission for my son and she, in her haste, has forgotten to take me with her!”

“Wait, your son is marrying the Black Rider?” Akabayashi asked incredulously.

“Yes, it seems he has his heart set on her, I was hoping he would pick a nice human girl but I guess this is the next best thing... We Kishitani men have always been known for our little eccentricities, my Emelia-”

“I’m sorry, did you say Kishitani?” Akabayashi asked, suddenly very interested.

“Ah, yes I haven’t introduced myself. Shingen Kishitani.” He held out a still wet hand which Akabayashi shook gingerly.

“And you say your son has been-”

“Kidnapped! Yes! By the most deplorable gang of hooligans! Though I fought valiantly I was unable to hold out against their numbers, at least a dozen armed men, none an inch under six feet tall. I took out as many as I could before they managed to restrain me and take my son away- Oh, I am sorry to be rude but I have little time and Celty-kun is nearly out of sight!”

 

And with that Shingen Kishitani took off again down the street still shouting after the Black Rider to slow down and take him with her.

Akabayashi turned back to his phone, redialing the last number.

“I think we have a problem.”

 

******

 

Shingen felt as though he had been running for hours. In reality a mere ten minutes had passed since he lost sight of Celty but he was already beginning to feel his muscles protest this unusual exertion. The realization that he was standing alone in the street wearing only a gas mask, his lab coat, and a pair of extravagantly patterned boxers was also dawning on him and, like his son, in the face of adversity and the loss of Celty, he decided that the best possible course of action would be to panic as loudly as possible until someone else arrived to solve the problem.

 

~~~Another Corner, Five Blocks Away~~~

 

Kida had been standing in the shadows, quietly observing the agitation of some Dollars across the street and bothering no one when suddenly, out of nowhere, he was punched squarely in the face by one of the strangest people he had ever seen. The man was about middle aged—judging from his hair as his face was obscured by, of all things, a gas mask—half-naked, and a little wet. He had been flailing wildly while screaming when he punched Kida and had not paused in these activities since. Several yellow scarves who had been standing by observed this attack on their boss and, in his defense, began to chase the man down.

In the few seconds it took Kida to get back on his feet, Shingen had somehow managed to lead the pursuing yellow scarves straight through the group of dollars he had been observing, thus starting a full on fist fight, which he then abandoned in favor of leaping across a busy intersection and knocking a man straight into oncoming traffic.

 

~~~The Other Side of That Same Street~~~

 

“What the hell?” Shizuo blinked, confused by his brother’s sudden disappearance. He looked down to find his brother lying in the street. “WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” He shouted at the man who had, presumably, pushed him there, before pulling his brother to his feet and out of the way of oncoming traffic. Strangely enough, the man took no notice of Shizuo. In Shizuo’s experience, most people ran away at the first sign of his anger _—_ in fact, most of the people nearby were running away, leaving the still flailing man to face Shizuo alone.

“Brother, isn’t that man Kishitani-sensei’s father?” Kasuka asked.

Now that Shizuo looked properly the man did seem familiar, and even if they hadn’t met before this behavior was exactly what he would expect from a relative of Shinra.

 

By this point Shingen’s pursuers, having realized that their quarry had escaped, were crossing the street after him. He was soon surrounded by large angry teenagers, some of whom were armed with bats, and all of whom were furious. Shizuo allowed this for a moment, after all their actions were not without provocation, before stepping forward and casually tossing each gang member back across the street. Having dealt with the immediate threat Shizuo assumed that Shingen would cease his panicked antics. This was, unfortunately, not the case. His panic having been caused by something else entirely, Shingen had never even noticed his immediate surroundings or the threats they contained.

 

Looking apologetically back to his brother Shizuo gave Shingen a light flick to the forehead, which repelled him back several feet and into immediate unconsciousness.

 

“Was that really necessary brother?” Kasuka asked with exasperation in his voice that only Shizuo could hear.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to knock him out...” Shizuo answered truthfully. “I guess I should return him to Shinra huh?”

Kasuka nodded in silent agreement.

“Sorry to ruin our dinner plans, you should still go though. Ruri-san is probably already waiting.”

Kasuka looked almost imperceptibly uncertain for a brief second before agreeing and leaving his brother to carry the unconscious madman back to his son.

 

* * *

 


End file.
